I have been mulling over this post for a while. To explain a viewpoint in life that I have been struggling, to describe an intriguing thought. It is not fully thought out but I don’t think I could fully think through this entire concept in one lifetime. Because it is a viewpoint on life, realize it comes from a bias though I try to be as non biased as possible and realize as well it is not perfect, much like myself. I have been recollecting recently about why I named my blog Adventures on the Low Road. I can remember still, sitting on a couch in the Memorial Student Center rethinking names and trying to find the best to fit my life. Instantly I discarded the obvious Indie references and didn't want it really to have anything indicating fashion in the title either. I am no "fashionista" and never wanted to give off that impression. I am simply a practically invisible girl who wanted a blog for herself (assuming no one would read it but me). My life is not always adventurous but life itself is always an adventure, that is key. The low road came from the concept of their being different paths in life, most people take the high road-the one most accepted. I wanted to invite people into a place a little more dark and possibly dangerous but sometimes a little more rewarding.
To me this concept is best described like this: There are highways and back roads. Most people drive on the highway, it's fast, convenient, accepted, and almost a sure fire win. You know where you are going to end and how long it will take to get there. The highway is the safest route, not always exciting but pleasant and predictable. Most people are happy taking the highway, in fact most people prefer it because it works. It was an old back road that worked for the majority of people in society so it became paved and pretty. People who are on the highway are simply people who can follow the path that society at one point said was best and this is not a bad thing. People on the highway may not always have it easy, as there are always potholes on roads but the place in which they usually do have it easy is acceptance into society. These are the people who make the everyday work, without them the world would crumble and fall because no one would be there to think about society as whole, what people need, what society wants. The highway also comes with pressures of its own, as it often asks that people who drive this route keep upstanding jobs at corporations, a good bank account, and a clear head. I would think that most people found on the highway are those realists who prefer security in life and their feet on the ground. (however I am aware that there are always outliers) The highway is a good wholesome road, it is the American road.
Then there are the back roads: often forgotten and neglected the back road can be bumpy and dangerous. It is not a chosen path but a destined one, one that may build strength in areas and potholes in others. There isn't anything to gain on the back roads but for some people, they simply cannot drive on the highway, there is something inside them that wants more. It is a personality difference, I guess you could say most back road drivers are the “anti-culture” as they want what society may not offer them. They may be the people who don’t usually “fit in” with society although I hate using this term because then it feels like out casting people and deeming anyone who drives the back roads as maybe…non upstanding citizens, which of course is complete bull. People who usually take back roads just have different definitions than society and must find their own way to their own happiness. These people may be the risk takers, the leaps of faith, the backpackers, and my favorite the land livers. The people usually explore different avenues that society may not have offered them, different versions of success because success to them is not what society says. Success is not a high paying job, great house, or big bank account which society usually deems as “success”. Disagree with me if you want and I’m sure you will find holes in my logic but when you think about heading back to your high school reunion what do you dream of saying? Most people I have asked say they want to show how successful they are in their jobs and relationships, and how do we usually do this…with stuff, things, objects, ownership. Most back roaders just can’t play this game…they might get the nice car but it won’t make them happy because they got it for the wrong reasons.
Which I guess leads me into my next topic to discuss (it relates to the highway and back roads) and that is THE GAME. The game of society. Face it, society has norms, it is a culture, and it asks certain requirements of people. How many times were you told that you would only get a good job with a four year degree or more? How many times were you told you needed a good job to have a good life? This is the game…it is what media shows you, the “American Dream”. I might argue the “American Dream” is dead but that is for another post. A lot of people play the game and some win, some lose (can you guess who the winners are?) The highway drivers are the ones who can play the game, who WANT to play the game, who can abide by the rules happily. Back roaders….ehhh not so much. They don’t want to play, the game doesn’t work for them it doesn’t make them happy. Yeah I could have the big 3 story house and the brand new Honda Fit but will it really make me happy? For me, the answer is no. When I think about it the only reason I dreamed of these big things is because they were pushed on me, because other people told me to want them, not directly of course, but within all of those messages in media and school. I am slowly figuring out what really makes me happy, is freedom. Freedom to do as I please everyday of my life. Freedom to travel when I want, make what I want, discover what I want, and study what I want (when I want). This means I won’t be the A student, I might never have a 401k or even Health Insurance…security in life…bye bye! Transferring over to this school of thought is scary but necessary FOR ME. Not everyone needs to go through this and if you don’t then by all means BLESS YOUR LIFE. Basically I have to reroute 15 years of learning and teach myself a whole new set of rules. Switching from the highway to back roads is NOT an easy flip of the switch, it is going to take years to train myself to give up wanting to have what others have, to not compare myself to everyone else because then I’m always going to feel like I’m losing. Just because I am a back roader does mean that lifestyle is instantly ingrained in me, I do have to learn to love it and see it as equal because face it, society will not view me as equal or as successful. I have tried being a highway driver and all it got me failure after failure because I was trying a system I did not fit into, now that I have accepted I do not fit into the system comes the hard part…letting go of the expectations. Expectations from myself, my family, friends, and the rest of society. This is VERY difficult and the only person I know who has come close to complete acceptance is my friend Paul, who has been walking the back roads since middle school. My beloved friend Annie has been walking the back roads for YEARS and still struggles with letting go of expectations. It is a lifelong process to get used to, but once back roaders find the niche that makes them happy it usually gets just a little easier.
Like I said, there are flaws in my thinking, no doubt! But I’m only 22 so what can you expect from me? I’m struggling in school, financially, emotionally, and with my own identity. I’m in a process that will go on for some time so if my thoughts and attitudes change, bear with me readers, after all you are reading the blog of someone who will never really be over the age of 5…ever. I have found comfort in that though. I am one of very few adults given the gift of play, not everyone can continue to play as they get older because they feel they must be “mature” now and “act like an adult” haha! I feel no need to ever act my age and enjoy that I still have the ability to see the world through a child’s eye and an adult’s eye. Of course this means there are going to plenty of people who won’t be able to stand my personality because I will forever be “too immature” for them. If I am too immature for anyone though it’s probably best we aren’t friends anyway as I would probably think they are to stuffy to have any real fun. Hehe
So there are back roads and highways and no way is better than another, it just depends on your personality. I beg if you read this strangers (haha yeah right) take some time to think about who you are and what you really want and don’t be ashamed to admit you might be wrong! Plenty of people have graduated with Ph.D’s before they realize it’s not really what they want. It’s nothing to be ashamed or disappointed of and it doesn’t mean your life up to now has been a waste, you just gotta make the most of it and go find your happiness. Likewise DO NOT think you have to try the back roads if it’s not meant for you. If you’re really happy with your life then chances are you’re doing pretty good and stay the course.
So cheers to all those radical thinkers, out-of-the-box, back roaders! (and to those in-the-box highway drivers who keep the world running ;)…)
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