It's December!! The last month of the year and I gotta say I'm glad for 2010 to be over!!!! It wasn't the worst year I guess but not particuarly the best so I'm ready to move on. First though, I must think of everybody's gifts! I'm trying to do homemade as much as possible this year which actually I think if I do homemade I can make things for more people rather than just buying one or two people gifts. Thanksgiving went really well and I'm sure I'll be eating leftovers till I go home again. I hope this semester passes fast I want to go home and see my friends again!! Bless them I lvoe them all. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have the friends I do!!
Enjoy the day!!!
1.12.10
18.11.10
Harry Potter!
Tomorrow I am meeting my sister in Tomah to see Harry Potter on opening day (as is tradition) and I am soooo excited!! Not only for the movie but just to hang out with my sister because we never get time together, especially just the two of us. Then I go back to school for a day and then HOME (!!!) for Thanksgiving! I'm really excited to see my friends (and get my hair done :) hehe) And surprisingly I haven't been jammed with work terribly this week. I do have a 5 page paper to write that is worth 25% of my grade and thats a little nerve-wracking but not super overwhelming (yet). I also realized I never posted the link to my online portfolio here. It's still a (major) work in progress but I am slowly getting things up there and adding to my profile. So I may stop posting pictures of my work here because it takes so long to upload pics here vs at my online portfolio.
here is the link: http://pinkelephant.carbonmade.com/
here is the link: http://pinkelephant.carbonmade.com/
2.11.10
More Questions (aka Ultra Non-Special Blah Blah Blah 3)
I'm bored at work again so MORE QUESTIONS!!!
BUT!!!!!!!!!!!
Before that let me say first GO VOTE TODAY, epescially young people and women, your voice matters!!!!
Women were beaten and tortured to give you the right to vote, don't let thier deaths be in vain!
and now, something less interesting
What is your shoe size?
It ranges from size 6 1/2-8 but usually I wear 7. I don't know why my feet are so weird haha.
What color are your socks?
white and red, meaning one sock is white and one sock is red. It's not intentional I just don't like balling up my socks so I don't and in the morning I dig my hands around my sock drawer until I pull two out. Most of the time they are in my shoes so I don't care if they mismatch
How high can you jump? I don't know technically how high but in lamens terms I think it would be...barely enough to get off the ground. I'm a terrible jumper and succed usually in maybe 1 inch of hieght on a good day hahaha.
Who is the last person you called?
Probably either my mom or my aunt. I don't think I called anybody all week yet, I have a (very) irrational fear of calling people because I worry that they won't want to talk to me or will be mad at me for calling them. Like I said totally irrational but present nonetheless.
What time did you go to bed last night?
10:30! However, early to bed early to rise. I also got up at 3:30 this morning to get more work done, which I am finding out works pretty well for me. I just seem to work better earlier in the morning, who knew?
What is your favorite color?
Right now I seem to be favoring green but I jump around all the time with color and never see to have a consistant favorite (except maybe grey). I don't know I just really don't know! stupid favorites...
What is your favorite number?
Those damn favorites! Just keep popping up everywhere!
Will you ever go sky diving?
Hell yeah I hope so!!! Sky diving seems like so much fun!!! A must do before I die, for sure.
Did you ever take a hot air balloon ride?
Phooey, no I haven't. I think it would be fun and kinda scary (which would just make it more fun). Maybe someday somebody will take me up for a ballon ride, how romantic! haha, yeah right.
Did you play any sports in high school?
No, I played Basketball when I was young but was never very good at it. I was part of the Color Guard in High School and I don't care what you think when we started to compete I considered it a sport, so yeah YEAH I DID!! :)
Will you, or did you, go to your 10 year high school reunion?
hmm, I think it depends on how successful I am and if any old friends I haven't seen in a long time will be there. I'm not looking forward to it but I don't dread it either. High School was ok for me, nothing to hold on to but it could have been worse I guess.
Do you wash your hair or body first when you shower?
I do it:Shampoo, Body, Face, Conditioner. Best line-up that has ever worked for me!
Do you floss every day?
I try to, but I don't always succeed. oops!
Have you ever gone camping?
Many times! And as much as I like hiking and cooking round a fire, and sitting round a fire I also like beds and showers...I am a cabin person, yes I love cabins!
Can you light a fire with two sticks?
ahhhh...hahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.ha.ha.ha.
Have you ever been in Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts?
Nope, never seemed very interesting to me..
Which chores do you like the most?
Vaccuming, dusting, and laundry, I don't know why but I like laundry!
Which chores do you like the least?
Dishes...100%
What three possessions could you could not live without?
My Sewing Machine, CD and/or MP3 player, and some type of camera. yes, those are good.
If you could invite any three people to dinner, who would it be?
Jesus, Mary Quant, a victim of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire...would make for interesting conversation...ahhh I keep thinking of more people....I hate decision questions.
Who would you love to meet?
This seems kind of redundant....besides I don't even have a clue, there's so many people I can't choose!! blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
ok. done.
BUT!!!!!!!!!!!
Before that let me say first GO VOTE TODAY, epescially young people and women, your voice matters!!!!
Women were beaten and tortured to give you the right to vote, don't let thier deaths be in vain!
and now, something less interesting
What is your shoe size?
It ranges from size 6 1/2-8 but usually I wear 7. I don't know why my feet are so weird haha.
What color are your socks?
white and red, meaning one sock is white and one sock is red. It's not intentional I just don't like balling up my socks so I don't and in the morning I dig my hands around my sock drawer until I pull two out. Most of the time they are in my shoes so I don't care if they mismatch
How high can you jump? I don't know technically how high but in lamens terms I think it would be...barely enough to get off the ground. I'm a terrible jumper and succed usually in maybe 1 inch of hieght on a good day hahaha.
Who is the last person you called?
Probably either my mom or my aunt. I don't think I called anybody all week yet, I have a (very) irrational fear of calling people because I worry that they won't want to talk to me or will be mad at me for calling them. Like I said totally irrational but present nonetheless.
What time did you go to bed last night?
10:30! However, early to bed early to rise. I also got up at 3:30 this morning to get more work done, which I am finding out works pretty well for me. I just seem to work better earlier in the morning, who knew?
What is your favorite color?
Right now I seem to be favoring green but I jump around all the time with color and never see to have a consistant favorite (except maybe grey). I don't know I just really don't know! stupid favorites...
What is your favorite number?
Those damn favorites! Just keep popping up everywhere!
Will you ever go sky diving?
Hell yeah I hope so!!! Sky diving seems like so much fun!!! A must do before I die, for sure.
Did you ever take a hot air balloon ride?
Phooey, no I haven't. I think it would be fun and kinda scary (which would just make it more fun). Maybe someday somebody will take me up for a ballon ride, how romantic! haha, yeah right.
Did you play any sports in high school?
No, I played Basketball when I was young but was never very good at it. I was part of the Color Guard in High School and I don't care what you think when we started to compete I considered it a sport, so yeah YEAH I DID!! :)
Will you, or did you, go to your 10 year high school reunion?
hmm, I think it depends on how successful I am and if any old friends I haven't seen in a long time will be there. I'm not looking forward to it but I don't dread it either. High School was ok for me, nothing to hold on to but it could have been worse I guess.
Do you wash your hair or body first when you shower?
I do it:Shampoo, Body, Face, Conditioner. Best line-up that has ever worked for me!
Do you floss every day?
I try to, but I don't always succeed. oops!
Have you ever gone camping?
Many times! And as much as I like hiking and cooking round a fire, and sitting round a fire I also like beds and showers...I am a cabin person, yes I love cabins!
Can you light a fire with two sticks?
ahhhh...hahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.ha.ha.ha.
Have you ever been in Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts?
Nope, never seemed very interesting to me..
Which chores do you like the most?
Vaccuming, dusting, and laundry, I don't know why but I like laundry!
Which chores do you like the least?
Dishes...100%
What three possessions could you could not live without?
My Sewing Machine, CD and/or MP3 player, and some type of camera. yes, those are good.
If you could invite any three people to dinner, who would it be?
Jesus, Mary Quant, a victim of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire...would make for interesting conversation...ahhh I keep thinking of more people....I hate decision questions.
Who would you love to meet?
This seems kind of redundant....besides I don't even have a clue, there's so many people I can't choose!! blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
ok. done.
Remote Control
I just finished watching a film called Remote Control about Children, Media, and the American Family of Today. Although most of the information wasn't completely new some of the things still shocked me. The fact that by the time children today are 30 they will have spent 10 years of that watching TV is really sad. Especially since I know I myself have a TV/Movie issue. I admit I like have a movie on a lot when I do stuff because it feels like I am with people rather than alone but too often I rely on this false idea of social interaction. I am now treating my TV/Movie watching as an addiction, one that I know will be hard to crack because I often just crave social time not TV time and after so many years of substituting TV for real people it is just habit to put in a movie. I feel lucky though because I do believe that as a child I did know when enough was enough so the right base is still ingrained within me I just have to go back and reprogram where ever I went off track. I broke my addiction with Facebook three years ago now I must tackle the TV and Food. I just hope I am up to the struggle, because it will be one but in the end hopefully I will have a healthier life.....
....Lord help me.
Why watch life when it's right there for you to live it?
....Lord help me.
Why watch life when it's right there for you to live it?
26.10.10
Random Questions
I found this list of random (and very random) questions, let the answers begin!
Can you make a cake?
I'd like to think so! I love baking and deffinatly haven't had enough time to have fun with it or really experiment beyond my comfort zone but I would like to! Currently I'm still at the "following a simple recipe" stage but I like to think that when I bake the thinkgs I make are rather tasty, at least they never last very long before they are all gone! :)
What was the last album you bought?
I haven't bought any albums in a really long time but the last cd (which I'll count as an album) was the new Octopus Project cd Hexadecagon, which is insanely awesome!!! I love their sound! I also bought Starfucker's self titled album at the same time that day, these two cds are pretty much all that I've been listening to since and I'M NOT SORRY! haha ;p
When was the last time you got in a fight?
Fist fight? I don't think I've ever been in a serious fist fight ever, I'm not the fighting type, I don't even like to argue! Verbally the last REAL fight I had was in July, it was a good fight in the sense that it got many unsaid things out in the open and I think made things better in the end.
Where's the best place you've been this year?
hmmm, that's really hard! I've been to a lot of good places this year, one of my favorites being Annie's house becuase I got to ride horses and her family is so nice. but the "best" place? I'm going to say the rock shoreline in Racine that I went to occasionally when I took breaks at work in summer. It's my favorite spot because I love looking out on the water and basking in the warmth of the sun on the rocks, ahhh such peaceful times!
What's you favourite ice-cream?"
Instantly I want to say cookie dough or cookies n cream both of those are tasty. Truth is (Hello, My name is Elly and) I am a Ice Cream Addict. I love almost all ice cream, and actually have to make rules about how often I can buy ice cream and usually just avoid the ice cream isle altogether or I will buy some. I hoping though, to try some new homemade flavors sometime...like peach mmm!
Who's your favourite writer?
Tough! I have favorite books but I hate picking favorite writers because many are good in thier own way. For poetry I like David McWane, for series I do like the Harry Potter books but mostly because they are nostaligic and the characters fucking rock! I,I, I just don't know!
Did you ever play 'Dungeons and Dragons'?
I like fantasy book but I could never get into RPG card or board games like that, just to confusing.
What do you drive?
Currently I'm driving my Dad's Toyota truck, I don't like pick-up trucks but the cabin on this one is fairly small so I don't mind so much. It's a good truck, gets me to and fro and besides gas it's free, biggest bonus ever! The car I would like to have someday?....Honda Fit baby!
What's the longest trip you ever did on it?
Probably from Milwaukee to Menomonie aka home to school. I'm a pretty boring person I guess haha no, I just don't want to drive to far in that truck and have it brake down while I'm on the road. And it's just not a convient time for an awesome road trip. (p.p.s. I don't like driving that much either, I'm waaaaay happier being a passanger!)
aww no more questions? Because that was fun! I'll find some more and keep adding on!
Can you make a cake?
I'd like to think so! I love baking and deffinatly haven't had enough time to have fun with it or really experiment beyond my comfort zone but I would like to! Currently I'm still at the "following a simple recipe" stage but I like to think that when I bake the thinkgs I make are rather tasty, at least they never last very long before they are all gone! :)
What was the last album you bought?
I haven't bought any albums in a really long time but the last cd (which I'll count as an album) was the new Octopus Project cd Hexadecagon, which is insanely awesome!!! I love their sound! I also bought Starfucker's self titled album at the same time that day, these two cds are pretty much all that I've been listening to since and I'M NOT SORRY! haha ;p
When was the last time you got in a fight?
Fist fight? I don't think I've ever been in a serious fist fight ever, I'm not the fighting type, I don't even like to argue! Verbally the last REAL fight I had was in July, it was a good fight in the sense that it got many unsaid things out in the open and I think made things better in the end.
Where's the best place you've been this year?
hmmm, that's really hard! I've been to a lot of good places this year, one of my favorites being Annie's house becuase I got to ride horses and her family is so nice. but the "best" place? I'm going to say the rock shoreline in Racine that I went to occasionally when I took breaks at work in summer. It's my favorite spot because I love looking out on the water and basking in the warmth of the sun on the rocks, ahhh such peaceful times!
What's you favourite ice-cream?"
Instantly I want to say cookie dough or cookies n cream both of those are tasty. Truth is (Hello, My name is Elly and) I am a Ice Cream Addict. I love almost all ice cream, and actually have to make rules about how often I can buy ice cream and usually just avoid the ice cream isle altogether or I will buy some. I hoping though, to try some new homemade flavors sometime...like peach mmm!
Who's your favourite writer?
Tough! I have favorite books but I hate picking favorite writers because many are good in thier own way. For poetry I like David McWane, for series I do like the Harry Potter books but mostly because they are nostaligic and the characters fucking rock! I,I, I just don't know!
Did you ever play 'Dungeons and Dragons'?
I like fantasy book but I could never get into RPG card or board games like that, just to confusing.
What do you drive?
Currently I'm driving my Dad's Toyota truck, I don't like pick-up trucks but the cabin on this one is fairly small so I don't mind so much. It's a good truck, gets me to and fro and besides gas it's free, biggest bonus ever! The car I would like to have someday?....Honda Fit baby!
What's the longest trip you ever did on it?
Probably from Milwaukee to Menomonie aka home to school. I'm a pretty boring person I guess haha no, I just don't want to drive to far in that truck and have it brake down while I'm on the road. And it's just not a convient time for an awesome road trip. (p.p.s. I don't like driving that much either, I'm waaaaay happier being a passanger!)
aww no more questions? Because that was fun! I'll find some more and keep adding on!
25.10.10
Ultra Non-Special Blah Blah Blah 2
First off, Scare town was AWESOME!! I screamed so much and one time a guy was following me for a bit and when I noticed I took off running and he just kept chasing me until I eventually just coward on the ground and played dead. School has been keeping me overhwhelmed as usual and on top of that now Annie and I have FINALLY decided to go as Katy Perry (Annie) and the Mint Backup Dancer (me) from the California Girls video.
short post and nothing at all special but I'm bored in class because I forgot a template I needed. phewy!
Enjoy your day! as I will enjoy mine! (hopefully :)!)
short post and nothing at all special but I'm bored in class because I forgot a template I needed. phewy!
Enjoy your day! as I will enjoy mine! (hopefully :)!)
19.10.10
Ultra Non-Special Blah Blah Blah
I keep meaning to write but either get side tracked or feel like I have nothing to say, which thinking about it I know that's not true. Hmmm, par events going on in my life, school mostly although this year I do have to say my social life is finally getting a perk! (which is sooo fun!) I'm hoping to be in two fashion shows this year instead of just one and in spring and hopefully I also have all 3 planned pieces to put in! I start my second job as Costume Shop Supervisor. I'm revamping my resume currently so it's ready within the next two weeks to be sent out to hopefully find me an internship!! (in California please!)Also currently I am playing intermural soccer (which if you ever need a good laugh, me playing soccer is one for sure!). Amd I just got promoted to Student Manager at the Library! whoo! (or should it be whew?) I feel like I have a lot going on while at the same time feeling like I'm often doing nothing at all. The closer winter gets here the more I realize that everything is just around the bend, internship, studio, graduate, job! (job!!??!!)Sometimes it freaks me out because I don't want to get a job I don't like and I don't want to be stuck in a dead end job either (which is my biggest fear right now.) I have the passion but not the portfolio right now so I'm trying to stick in extra design stuff and Annie is going to help me out with my business cards! (so happy!) Next year though I will be sad becuase Annie's going to Germany for the WHOLE YEAR! :( I will be living in a house with her German exchange student, and our friends Nick, Andrew, and Paul. It should be fun!!! (especially if the German a man, I'll be the only girl in the house hahaha) Once I get the pictures from Annie I can show pictures from the Rennesance Fair, we all dressed up!! So much fun! This Thursday a big group of people are all heading to this park called ScareTown so we can get scared hahaha!! I've never been to anything like this before so I'm super excited!
Something else fun, I went to a concert this last weekend it was The Octopus Project and Starfucker with opening band From a Fountain. Every band was really good and fun to listen to. I haven't been to a concert in so long it felt amazing to go and really this was probably the most awesome concert ever! EVER. It's hard to describe what it's like for me at concerts, it's someplace where I always feel like I fit in no matter what. Everybody is united by the music, so it's almost like becoming one entity or something. Having it been so long since I've been to a concert Saturday night felt like the first night I've felt ALIVE in sooo long. It was a deep breath after a long suffication period. There's something wonderful and inspiring about being in a crowd yet able to think about only yourself and the music. Your connected but disconnected, in a crowd yet all alone. The beat fills your body and the music fills your soul, the vibrations of the bass drum become more a purring sensation in the body. You can move, bob, dance, or just close your eyes and experience it. Music can become color. For a little while at least you can feed off of and share the passion of the musicians on stage. It's unexplainable and it's freedom. Starfucker (who I had never heard of before) was absolutely FANTASTIC!! If my personality could become music it would sound like Starfucker. The energy they put out was so different and fun, and the sound was easy to dance to but still good music! (why is that so hard to find these days?) I ended up getting thier cd that night and have been listening to nothing else since then haha.
It's strange, I can't pinpoint when it started I only know it has been a while now that I've felt, disconnected, like I was wrapped in a cocoon or more like shoved into one, one that didn't fit. Something in my life was off, something was strangling me. Sad enough I think it was myself, I was strangling me, trying to change myself by shoving me into some cookie cutter shape I thought everyone would accept. After Saturday I feel life again, screw cookie cutter! I have been able to step back and see what has really changed inside me and what I forced. I'm not sure if this is a new problem for me or one that been an undercurrent throughout my whole life. A part of me doesn't care, because now (at least right now) I am cured! I feel alive and active (although after 1.5 hours of sleep last night I also feel really tired)I am breathing, the air is fresh, and that is all I care about right now.
Something else fun, I went to a concert this last weekend it was The Octopus Project and Starfucker with opening band From a Fountain. Every band was really good and fun to listen to. I haven't been to a concert in so long it felt amazing to go and really this was probably the most awesome concert ever! EVER. It's hard to describe what it's like for me at concerts, it's someplace where I always feel like I fit in no matter what. Everybody is united by the music, so it's almost like becoming one entity or something. Having it been so long since I've been to a concert Saturday night felt like the first night I've felt ALIVE in sooo long. It was a deep breath after a long suffication period. There's something wonderful and inspiring about being in a crowd yet able to think about only yourself and the music. Your connected but disconnected, in a crowd yet all alone. The beat fills your body and the music fills your soul, the vibrations of the bass drum become more a purring sensation in the body. You can move, bob, dance, or just close your eyes and experience it. Music can become color. For a little while at least you can feed off of and share the passion of the musicians on stage. It's unexplainable and it's freedom. Starfucker (who I had never heard of before) was absolutely FANTASTIC!! If my personality could become music it would sound like Starfucker. The energy they put out was so different and fun, and the sound was easy to dance to but still good music! (why is that so hard to find these days?) I ended up getting thier cd that night and have been listening to nothing else since then haha.
It's strange, I can't pinpoint when it started I only know it has been a while now that I've felt, disconnected, like I was wrapped in a cocoon or more like shoved into one, one that didn't fit. Something in my life was off, something was strangling me. Sad enough I think it was myself, I was strangling me, trying to change myself by shoving me into some cookie cutter shape I thought everyone would accept. After Saturday I feel life again, screw cookie cutter! I have been able to step back and see what has really changed inside me and what I forced. I'm not sure if this is a new problem for me or one that been an undercurrent throughout my whole life. A part of me doesn't care, because now (at least right now) I am cured! I feel alive and active (although after 1.5 hours of sleep last night I also feel really tired)I am breathing, the air is fresh, and that is all I care about right now.
12.9.10
Whoops!
I haven't updated in forever! I know you were all dying and crying over my absence from here lol but things are pretty much the same as always. Back in Menomonie and loving it. It's really nice to see friends again, go to class, and work. Advanced Pattern is going to be pretty much like project runway (even the teacher admitted that one) and I super syked for History of Fashion and Social and Psychological Aspects of Clothing because they both intrest me A LOT. Currently I am working on a costume for the Renissance Fair that I will be attending with Annie and Andrew, its not really that Renissance..y? but more Old Irish I guess, oh well still looks cool! I really wish I had more to say but not much has really happened since I got back, I rested a lot before school began and am still getting into the swing of things. I think it will be a fun semester for sure though!
Now go!
(not like you enjoyed reading my mindless blahs anyway haha)
Now go!
(not like you enjoyed reading my mindless blahs anyway haha)
13.7.10
Whoo UPDATES
Hey avid readers lol! I know I haven't updated in the longest time and that's because not too much is going on here. Been trying to keep busy this summer with three jobs, learning guitar, and working on the fashion show. I'm really excited because I'm starting to look at the materials cost for the three corsets I will be making and am thinking of posting my own "how I did it" on here, if anyone's interested on see the work that goes into making a corset. And I'm talking CORSET here. I plan on buying steel boning and cutil (a fabric made specifically for corset linings). I'm going all out baby! I won't be done with them anytime soon because I'm still doing research on the steps it takes to put one together myself but I'm excited to get this project going when I can! hoorah! Other than that things are pretty much the same as always. No major changes. Waiting till the end of summer to get my nose pierced, the only question...should i get it pierced before going back to school or after? ahhh the decisions hahaha.
also my computer seems to brake down every time i come home and this time it isn't charging so I have no battery right now and that is also why updates might be more sparse because I have to use my parents desktop now phoo.
Blessings to all!
Elly
also my computer seems to brake down every time i come home and this time it isn't charging so I have no battery right now and that is also why updates might be more sparse because I have to use my parents desktop now phoo.
Blessings to all!
Elly
25.5.10
Summer Begins!
Finally it is starting to feel like summer! Even though I start work soon, I feel like summer is finally beginning. I actually don't mind working at all because it at least gives me something to do, something to get up for, something to keep me busy. Although I do have projects here to keep me busy as well. I have two dresses that have been commissioned by a friend and my dad asked me to make him a custom bag and two hankerchiefs as well. Also I plan on making myself some things of my own! whew! But it's a lot of fun so I don't mind! I'll keep in touch with my projects as they get done!
12.5.10
The Past Year
Annie just gave me a bunch of pics from the last year at three specific times.
1. Major snowfall in Menomonie
2. My 21st Birthday
3. The Fashion Show
So I'm going to post a whole bunch here to share some moments of my last year!
Winter 2009
A big snowfall led to our only snowday!
We didn't have a shovel so Annie used part of our broiler pan haha!
Queen of the Snowpile! and she doesn't share very well :)
Birthday smiles with my roomie!
Annie, Annie's Friend, Me, Carissa, Ellie
Yes, I had to wear the crown all night long hahaha
Carissa and Ellie wearing Carissa's Fashion Show garments!
1. Major snowfall in Menomonie
2. My 21st Birthday
3. The Fashion Show
So I'm going to post a whole bunch here to share some moments of my last year!
Winter 2009
A big snowfall led to our only snowday!
We didn't have a shovel so Annie used part of our broiler pan haha!
Queen of the Snowpile! and she doesn't share very well :)
Birthday smiles with my roomie!
Annie, Annie's Friend, Me, Carissa, Ellie
Yes, I had to wear the crown all night long hahaha
Carissa and Ellie wearing Carissa's Fashion Show garments!
8.5.10
Final Push
It's the final push. Less than seven days and I'll be home yea!!! I've got a 18 page CAD project Due Monday with a Powerpoint due Friday and a 16-18 page Quality and Anaylsis Project Due Tuesday and a debate on Friday and an Interpersonal Exam Tuesday, Zoology project Due Monday, Zoology exam Thursday. Then, I'm done. hahah. It's going to be hard because I am in summer mind already, I just want to be home! But I've got to push, I'm almost done with Cad 3 more pages to do, and I've got a nice amount of QA left but I gotta work through it! Can I do it, yes I can!! hahaha
For now I'm stuck at the Library working till 6...stupid extended hours. Monday night I have to work till 2 am. ugh. People better be here, taking advantage of the hours they demanded and I now have to work. oh well. tra la la la la back to CAD!
For now I'm stuck at the Library working till 6...stupid extended hours. Monday night I have to work till 2 am. ugh. People better be here, taking advantage of the hours they demanded and I now have to work. oh well. tra la la la la back to CAD!
6.5.10
Shifts
Since I'm still under hair-dying arrest and I don't have money for a tattoo or piercing I decided changing my blog layout will have to suffice my lust for change for now. (key word being for now...) Other than that nothing new, except for how cute the kitty were babysitting is! I've grown to love her quite a lot, especially since she puts up with so much crap from me. I'm always picking her up and carrying her on my shoulder, she's so tiny but we know she's over a year old (just how old she is we don't know). She loves napping on my bed while I do homework!
Isn't she cute!!!
Isn't she cute!!!
Rewind
I was watching Moulin Rouge a few days ago, I hadn't watched it in a while but it's been on my mind. I was surprised how different the movie was! Of course, the movie itself hadn't changed but I saw so much more this time. Namely in costuming, I was able to see better the structure of how things were created and what they portrayed. After the movie I watched some of the special edition stuff. They had a section that showed all the garments from conception to completion. I almost peed myself with amazement at the work they did. The designers made over 300 garments for the movie. Each Cancan dancer had a personality, which in the realm of theatre and film I always think that every character should have fully developed story no matter how small. What impressed me more was Baz Luhrmann's take. He wanted things to be historical but more than that he wanted to evoke the feeling of what people would have felt going to the Moulin Rouge more than what they would have seen. This just makes me want to design for films so much more!!! I love film and theatre, the fantasy mixed with reality. There's so much depth (to some movies haha). The possibilites of fashion get me soo excited! I think I'm the only student who smiles when we get a new project in school haha! I don't know why but I think spring puts me in a "musical" mode, especially for theatre musicals haha. It seems everybody falls in love in spring, most people fall in love with other people, I fall in love with clothes ahaha, you always wind up with who your meant to be with, and despite our rocky relationship me and my sewing machine cannot be apart,ever. Oh I do hope summer gives me the time to sew, sew, sew! (and have jam sessions with Margie) hahaha!
Don't forget Saturday is Mother's Day! Thank your mothers dammit, they do everything for you! haha
Que Sera Sera
Don't forget Saturday is Mother's Day! Thank your mothers dammit, they do everything for you! haha
Que Sera Sera
3.5.10
Why Truly Nice People Are So Rare
I seem to have found out in my ventures that being nice is no longer valued in our world. Not is it only no longer valued it is looked down upon. You see truly nice people do things for others without asking anything in return and sometimes without even being asked. These days people seem to think that doing things for others out of the kindness of your heart is proof that you are weak and clearance to walk all over people because most nice people will keep being nice, which yes, opens them up to being doormats I guess, but that doesn't mean you have to take advantage of it. I kept thinking that I was weak, that I let everybody walk all over because I have no spine, truth is I am NICE and people walk all over me because of that but being NICE does not mean people are weak. I just feel it's soo rare to come across people who are truly nice these days, people who consistantly do things for others without asking, without expecting anything, just to be NICE. I feel like I am talking circles and I probably am. Here's my heed to the world out there, don't walk on people because you can, thank people often, make efforts yourself to go out of your way to do something kind, prove that being NICE doesn't mean being weak.
I guess here's my message: SERVE OTHERS, NOT JUST YOURSELF, TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT, and BE GRACIOUS ALWAYS
I guess here's my message: SERVE OTHERS, NOT JUST YOURSELF, TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT, and BE GRACIOUS ALWAYS
2.5.10
So proud of ME!
sorry I am here again but I just had to pop in and say how proud I am of me because for the first time ever I have had the strength to go out to a restaurant and eat BY MYSELF. I hate eating in public alone, probably one of my biggest fears, conquerd! Take that society! Being alone is awesome! hahaha!
The end of another year
While the fashion show is over!!! (ok it was over like last weekend haha) and pictures will be up soon (as soon as Annie gives them to me). I think they are pretty cool. I made Annie dark and evil looking and she walked perfectly as I told her to. No garment mishaps whoo!!! Next year will be exciting as long as I stay on top of my game. I am using Freak Shows, Pippen, and the idea of the Underworld (like in Moulin Rouge) to inspire me. There will for sure be a piece for the "LP" or "Ringleader" (probably worn by me!) and I've got two other garments I would like to design but am unsure of how exactly to pursue them, I know I want to make corsets but I don't want my garments to look too much like a whorehouse or TOO old fashioned. I have to bring it to a new level, hard! Currently though I have to keep my mind on finishing school, this upcoming week is the last full week of classes and not this friday but the next I am going home!!!!! I can't wait! I want summer to be here so bad!!! I can't wait to start my summer routine
Workout
Job 1
Job 2 (fingers crossed)
Sleep
And on the weekends!
Workout
Sew
Drink Beer
Sleep
hahahahaha!
Should be busy but fun, my main goals are to finish the dresses I owe Margie, Start on my fashion show garments, lose weight (for real now ahahaha), and SAVE MONEY!!!!!! Lots of it!
In Interpersonal Effects were have been talking about Happiness, and I find the more we talk about it the more I realize I really am happy. Obviously happiness isn't smiling all the time but it is having a contentment and satisfaction. Now is the time for me to start the wheel of moving forward because next summer I need an internship so this summer I am going to start contacting Film Costume Designers hoping someone will let me intern for them. It's weird to think I'm halfway through my schooling. I'm not forward as fast as my friends but I'll get their, besides whats most important to me right now is ME. Making sure I get a good job is what is on my mind because I can't count on anybody and I want to design for films ssooooooooo bad! but it's going to take an ass load of work to get myself their. Since I've turned 21 I do feel more adult and in more control of my own life, it also rocks being able to go to bars and clubs. Bars are just a great way to get a giant group of people meeting as everybodys friends show up and we all hang out which is fun! Though don't get me wrong I don't go out a lot once a week if that! I do go bowling on thursdays which I enjoy because it is kind of my "me" time with Annie. Anyways I've been taking a break from CAD but I suppose I should get back to it as it is due in about a week and I have a lot of work to do still! whoo!
Que Sera Sera!
Workout
Job 1
Job 2 (fingers crossed)
Sleep
And on the weekends!
Workout
Sew
Drink Beer
Sleep
hahahahaha!
Should be busy but fun, my main goals are to finish the dresses I owe Margie, Start on my fashion show garments, lose weight (for real now ahahaha), and SAVE MONEY!!!!!! Lots of it!
In Interpersonal Effects were have been talking about Happiness, and I find the more we talk about it the more I realize I really am happy. Obviously happiness isn't smiling all the time but it is having a contentment and satisfaction. Now is the time for me to start the wheel of moving forward because next summer I need an internship so this summer I am going to start contacting Film Costume Designers hoping someone will let me intern for them. It's weird to think I'm halfway through my schooling. I'm not forward as fast as my friends but I'll get their, besides whats most important to me right now is ME. Making sure I get a good job is what is on my mind because I can't count on anybody and I want to design for films ssooooooooo bad! but it's going to take an ass load of work to get myself their. Since I've turned 21 I do feel more adult and in more control of my own life, it also rocks being able to go to bars and clubs. Bars are just a great way to get a giant group of people meeting as everybodys friends show up and we all hang out which is fun! Though don't get me wrong I don't go out a lot once a week if that! I do go bowling on thursdays which I enjoy because it is kind of my "me" time with Annie. Anyways I've been taking a break from CAD but I suppose I should get back to it as it is due in about a week and I have a lot of work to do still! whoo!
Que Sera Sera!
25.4.10
Big Morning!
It's going to be a big day today! Today is the Fashion Show!!! We have two showings today at 1Pm and at 5Pm. It's going to be fun but it's also going to be a lot of work today because I have so much homework to catch up on as well because my parents visited me this year to see the fashion show so I cleaned the entire apartment by myself which took over 5 hours, so needless to say I didn't get a whole lot of homework done, or started. Tonight will be a late night but it's okay because it's hard to focus on homework when I am worrying about the show and my parents and doing this and that...It's no excuse for not getting it done, don't think I'm trying to say that but I hav put it off and now I will pay the price haha. I can't wait until summer, things won't be easier but hopefully there won't be as much pressure either. I'm looking forward into getting into a routine and make real changes in my life. I've got the most college of all my friends left to go but at the same time the end seems to be coming up too fast! Next year I start getting into the heavy duty classes like Functional clothing designs, knit technology and design, Advanced Pattern Development! But it will all be exciting because there are new things to learn, Advanced Pattern will teach me draping (yes!) and hopefully they will have Advanced Construction sometime next year too. I've got 42 credits left to graduate so 12 credits for 2 years and I'm golden! Not to mention NEXT Summer I will be looking for an internshi *fingers crossed* in California with a Film Designer, how exciting!!!!
check out these shoes!!! (found at ifshoescouldkill.com)
check out these shoes!!! (found at ifshoescouldkill.com)
15.3.10
Spring Break!
IS SO CLOSE!!! but I don't feel it yet. When I think about it I'm driving home FRIDAY, FRIDAY(!!!) it's so close but I don't have that bubbly excitement for break yet. I want to be home and it just never feels close enough...Friday feels close but so far away! It will be nice to have a break though! Already I've got a pretty full docket! haha!
Friday- I get home
Saturday -3 mile walk with my dad
Sunday-Mueseum trip!!
Tuesday-Go with Margie for her Hair Exam (=free haircut hahah!)
Friday-Day with MOM!!!
Sunday-go back to menomonie :(
I need to back in positive mode! I love my roommates but Annie can be pretty negative sometimes...not mean just negative...always talking about what she doesn't like about things and people instead of what she does like...it wears on me I think, because she talks down on friends and things I tend to like and Wisconsin and Stout....so ya know it just wears on me. I'll be happy to see my family who I feel so distant from :)
Easter however is a problem I need to resolve, usually I would go my aunts for easter but they are going to be is South Milwaukee for Easter this year because the week before that they are heading to Disneyland. So now I have to figure out if there is someway to get home that wont break my wallet or if I will have to spend Easter alone....:(, as long as I get to dye eggs, I'm happy I guess but still....
anyways that about sums it up, wish I had more time as always but that NEVER changes hahaha!
I wish it were summer too...
Friday- I get home
Saturday -3 mile walk with my dad
Sunday-Mueseum trip!!
Tuesday-Go with Margie for her Hair Exam (=free haircut hahah!)
Friday-Day with MOM!!!
Sunday-go back to menomonie :(
I need to back in positive mode! I love my roommates but Annie can be pretty negative sometimes...not mean just negative...always talking about what she doesn't like about things and people instead of what she does like...it wears on me I think, because she talks down on friends and things I tend to like and Wisconsin and Stout....so ya know it just wears on me. I'll be happy to see my family who I feel so distant from :)
Easter however is a problem I need to resolve, usually I would go my aunts for easter but they are going to be is South Milwaukee for Easter this year because the week before that they are heading to Disneyland. So now I have to figure out if there is someway to get home that wont break my wallet or if I will have to spend Easter alone....:(, as long as I get to dye eggs, I'm happy I guess but still....
anyways that about sums it up, wish I had more time as always but that NEVER changes hahaha!
I wish it were summer too...
27.2.10
When Did We Stop Talking?
I feel disconnected from my friends. When did we stop talking to each other? I feel as though recent conversations (if any have actually happened) have merely been plensantries and then on our way. When did we stop actually talking to each other, when did we become more distant? Is it my fault, I do know I could try harder. Are you too busy, am I? Are we both to blame? Is it men, school, work, the fight to lose weight that has us exercising more than talking? Is it because we are different? Are we too different now, could we ever be? I only have two friends left from home and I don't blame them for having lives outside of me (I wouldnt expect me to be the revolving center of their universe) and I'm not blaming anyone, merely wondering, when did we stop talking? Admitidly its always been hard for me to REALLY deeply open up to people. I'm a listener and would most rather listen to other peoples lives than talk about my own. How does that make you feel? Have I shut you out? I watched a movie last night Happy-Go-Lucky and it was a goodie becuase it was about a girl who was always happy even when pitfalls came along. Now it wasn't like she was smiling when someone was yelling at her, during the movie she could be serious and you saw her have moments which proved she obivously felt something but here's the difference, SHE CHOSE TO BE HAPPY. She chose not to let the bad things infect her, she even said during the movie when a friend told her she couldn't make everyone happy "there's no reason for not trying though" and she's right. Lots of times "adults" are really just big babies who refuse to express what they are feeling even if its the better thing to do and all those balled up feelings eat away at us and infect us. The girl in the movie reminded me of a friend of mine, her laugh and smile especially. And I remembered why I became her friend in the first place, becuase she too, wouldn't (won't) let the bad things infect her. I see her life as being so easy and perfect but it's not, she deals with all the same crap I do she just doesn't let it keep her down. Its nice to remember why you choose to become friends with someone because I think after being friends with them you can forget, things get lost, friends get lost. Remembering why i am friends with her reminded me there are things I still want to learn from her and that the people around me are truly amazing. Our lives may be soo different but I think people can stay friends even then when you remember why you are friends, to lean on each other and learn from each other. Each person has a quality someone else wants too. We befriend these people hoping the qualities will rub off on us and will but it isn't magic like that, we have to learn, practice, actively involve ourselves in trying to be what we wish we could. So the more important question than When Did We Stop Talking? will be When Will Start Talking Again? because I love you and my friends, you can't slip that easily away from me! :D
Que Sera Sera!
Que Sera Sera!
25.2.10
First Late Night of the Semester
Last night was my first late night (or early morning) of the semester, up till 4 am, then sleep till 6 am. I'm pretty beat and just want to sleep. The whole world should know this.
(hehe)
(hehe)
19.2.10
Good News Everyone!
I made it into the fashion show!!! I'm sooo happy! I was so nervous this morning that my garment wouldn't be accepted, BUT IT DID!!!! I got some compliments on it too. It's beginning to get to so that people can tell what I design and to be honest it tends to look different than what most people make. I'm so excited for the show now! whoo!!!! I'm already thinking of what I can make next year hahahaha. AWESOME! well that's my good news!
18.2.10
Updates!
NOTHING! hahahaa. Actually things have been pretty well on the whole. This week has been stressful because TOMORROW (!) is garment Turn-In Day for the fashion show. TOMORROW I will know if my garment is in or out. I hope it's in because I worked hard on it and for every piece being the first time I've done it (i.e. I've never made pants before (from scratch)) I think it's not bad! The pants fit nearly perfectly whoo! Only took my like 4 muslins to get there ahahaha. Classes have been pretty good and I'm still sticking to my healthy lifestyle! My new favorite breakfast is one banana sliced and any where from 1-3 strawberries all sliced up in a bowel. YUMMY! (with of course some coffee). Routine has been nice to me, and I'm liking it. I don't feel like I'm exercising enough but so far this week I've burned 1,261 calories by exercise (this doesn't include walking and resting calories) whoo! I even bought a scale to track my weight because this time I'm serious about getting rid of it! My goal is 110 by summer. 20 pounds left to lose! I can already feel it may not be an easy 20 pounds. Cali has really warmed up to being in our apartment and is friendly and playful. But you can't trust to keep your water sitting out. EVERY cup of water left out she sticks her head in! Silly! Once I get some resting time maybe I can take a picture of her! haha.
Well Que Sera Sera!
Blessings on your journey!
Well Que Sera Sera!
Blessings on your journey!
11.2.10
Words of Wisdom
I found these words of wisdom, written by Samara O'Shea at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samara-oshea/the-grass-is-rarely-almos_b_96981.html
Hi, my name is Samara, and I've been single for six years.
Hi Samara.
Oh no, sorry--wrong group of people.
Anyway, as a long-term single person, I became somewhat of an expert on relationships. I'm around couples all the time, and I have a tendency toward intense observation (always looking for a story to write). I couldn't help but notice some of the goings on. The life lesson I'm about to share is a direct result of my doing that, and it has really come through for me in the past two years. I'm here to (gladly!) report that other people are the most inaccurate measuring stick you will ever hold up to yourself.
The peanut gallery tends to assume single people are always looking for a significant other, and many of them are -- so it's a reasonable assumption. This assumption, however, is based on the fact that life is better when you're in a relationship. The birds sing more often. The sky is bluer, and you don't have to deal with pesky emotions such as loneliness and dejection. My keen eyes can confirm that this is, in fact, not true. Every depressing sensation you can feel as a single person -- misunderstood, isolated, and sad -- you can certainly feel while in a relationship. And the elations you feel in a relationship -- satisfied, triumphant, and ecstatic -- you can feel while being single.
The key is not to kid yourself that the other guy has it better than you do. So if you're single, shrug your shoulders and know that being in a relationship doesn't make life any easier, and if you're going through a rough patch in your relationship don't let your single friends tell you they have all the fun. They have their good days and their bad the same as you do, and the same as you will if you were to switch places with them. Bear this in mind, too, if you've been nervous about switching statues. If the only reason you're still in a relationship is to avoid being single or you're reluctant to give up life as a bachelor(ette), trust, if the time is right, the alternative isn't as bad as you think.
As I mentioned, I first noticed this when comparing single people to those in relationships, but then I started applying it elsewhere. Career moms compared to stay-at -home moms. Big breasts compared to small ones. Large salaries compared to modest ones. Notice I say "compared to" and not "verses," because this isn't a competition. No matter what state of being you're in you'll be tempted to look at someone else's state and think they have been magically alleviated of any and all problems. They must have it better than you do. They don't. I promise. They experience embarrassment, stress, pain, insecurity, and wishing they had what others have all the same. The garden on that side of the fence has both flowers and weeds, so it's in our best interest to stay on our side of the fence and maintain our lawn the best we can.
Unexpectedly, this maxim has enabled me to be much happier for my friends when they're experiencing a personal victory. Where I once was potentially bitter and envious that things were going well for them, the knowledge that their lives aren't perfect levels the playing field. It's not that I think Ha! My life has troubles and so does yours. Hooray! but rather We're all in this together, and I'm glad to share in your joy and pain knowing that you'll be with me in mine.
There are times in our lives when we're going through a great time and we know someone who is not. Perhaps they've just been fired in close proximity to you being promoted, or maybe they've just been dumped while you're in the early throws of infatuation. In these instances, it can be a great act of kindness not to talk at length about your feat. You don't have to lie; you just don't have to elaborate. If that idea sounds absurd and you can only enjoy your success if others are suffering in the knowledge and wake of it, then you can never truly enjoy your success.
This concept pertains not only to other people but also other circumstances. While it's true one job may be better than another, every job has its disadvantages--as does every relationship and every location. I'm not suggesting we all become perpetual pessimists and assume everything in life will be bad, just that we don't fool ourselves into thinking anything in life will be perfect. If you find yourself saying, "Things will be better when. . ." When we move. When we're married. When I'm making more money. Then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. This is where the caveat, "Be careful what you wish for" comes from -- because anything (and everything) you wish for comes with its own set of clandestine consequences. You won't know what they are until you get there, just know that something about any situation will let you down, and hopefully that's nothing compared to the parts that lift you up.
I think her words are so true but so hard to remember all the time. We all have ups and downs...and since it's Februrary I am going to celebrate being SINGLE and loving it. It's not easy but it's also not the worst thing ever, although no lie I do sometimes portray it like that don't I?
Cali (the cat that were watching) is getting more comfortable in our house and therefore much more playful and friendly. She sleeps with me (which I love!) I like having a pet around! so much fun! teehee
Make Today A Good Day, Because Only You Can Choose Too!
Que Sera Sera!
Hi, my name is Samara, and I've been single for six years.
Hi Samara.
Oh no, sorry--wrong group of people.
Anyway, as a long-term single person, I became somewhat of an expert on relationships. I'm around couples all the time, and I have a tendency toward intense observation (always looking for a story to write). I couldn't help but notice some of the goings on. The life lesson I'm about to share is a direct result of my doing that, and it has really come through for me in the past two years. I'm here to (gladly!) report that other people are the most inaccurate measuring stick you will ever hold up to yourself.
The peanut gallery tends to assume single people are always looking for a significant other, and many of them are -- so it's a reasonable assumption. This assumption, however, is based on the fact that life is better when you're in a relationship. The birds sing more often. The sky is bluer, and you don't have to deal with pesky emotions such as loneliness and dejection. My keen eyes can confirm that this is, in fact, not true. Every depressing sensation you can feel as a single person -- misunderstood, isolated, and sad -- you can certainly feel while in a relationship. And the elations you feel in a relationship -- satisfied, triumphant, and ecstatic -- you can feel while being single.
The key is not to kid yourself that the other guy has it better than you do. So if you're single, shrug your shoulders and know that being in a relationship doesn't make life any easier, and if you're going through a rough patch in your relationship don't let your single friends tell you they have all the fun. They have their good days and their bad the same as you do, and the same as you will if you were to switch places with them. Bear this in mind, too, if you've been nervous about switching statues. If the only reason you're still in a relationship is to avoid being single or you're reluctant to give up life as a bachelor(ette), trust, if the time is right, the alternative isn't as bad as you think.
As I mentioned, I first noticed this when comparing single people to those in relationships, but then I started applying it elsewhere. Career moms compared to stay-at -home moms. Big breasts compared to small ones. Large salaries compared to modest ones. Notice I say "compared to" and not "verses," because this isn't a competition. No matter what state of being you're in you'll be tempted to look at someone else's state and think they have been magically alleviated of any and all problems. They must have it better than you do. They don't. I promise. They experience embarrassment, stress, pain, insecurity, and wishing they had what others have all the same. The garden on that side of the fence has both flowers and weeds, so it's in our best interest to stay on our side of the fence and maintain our lawn the best we can.
Unexpectedly, this maxim has enabled me to be much happier for my friends when they're experiencing a personal victory. Where I once was potentially bitter and envious that things were going well for them, the knowledge that their lives aren't perfect levels the playing field. It's not that I think Ha! My life has troubles and so does yours. Hooray! but rather We're all in this together, and I'm glad to share in your joy and pain knowing that you'll be with me in mine.
There are times in our lives when we're going through a great time and we know someone who is not. Perhaps they've just been fired in close proximity to you being promoted, or maybe they've just been dumped while you're in the early throws of infatuation. In these instances, it can be a great act of kindness not to talk at length about your feat. You don't have to lie; you just don't have to elaborate. If that idea sounds absurd and you can only enjoy your success if others are suffering in the knowledge and wake of it, then you can never truly enjoy your success.
This concept pertains not only to other people but also other circumstances. While it's true one job may be better than another, every job has its disadvantages--as does every relationship and every location. I'm not suggesting we all become perpetual pessimists and assume everything in life will be bad, just that we don't fool ourselves into thinking anything in life will be perfect. If you find yourself saying, "Things will be better when. . ." When we move. When we're married. When I'm making more money. Then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. This is where the caveat, "Be careful what you wish for" comes from -- because anything (and everything) you wish for comes with its own set of clandestine consequences. You won't know what they are until you get there, just know that something about any situation will let you down, and hopefully that's nothing compared to the parts that lift you up.
I think her words are so true but so hard to remember all the time. We all have ups and downs...and since it's Februrary I am going to celebrate being SINGLE and loving it. It's not easy but it's also not the worst thing ever, although no lie I do sometimes portray it like that don't I?
Cali (the cat that were watching) is getting more comfortable in our house and therefore much more playful and friendly. She sleeps with me (which I love!) I like having a pet around! so much fun! teehee
Make Today A Good Day, Because Only You Can Choose Too!
Que Sera Sera!
10.2.10
A Day Of Ups and Downs
Down: Computer crashes at 4 am
Up: Made it to the top of the Rock Climbing wall three times, and completed a route
Down: Had to go to Ask 5000 for computer
UP: Easy Fix no problem!
Up/Down: How to find a Co-op workshop cancelled (at least I'll get to eat lunch!)
Down: Gave Annie my keys this morning because she forget hers now I'm locked out of the apartment
Up: Can go to library and get some work done!
Down: My computer won't connect to the internet here, and is running out of battery making my time useless.
it's only 6 there's still hope for an Up to end the day (like Cali sleeping with me again!)
Up: Made it to the top of the Rock Climbing wall three times, and completed a route
Down: Had to go to Ask 5000 for computer
UP: Easy Fix no problem!
Up/Down: How to find a Co-op workshop cancelled (at least I'll get to eat lunch!)
Down: Gave Annie my keys this morning because she forget hers now I'm locked out of the apartment
Up: Can go to library and get some work done!
Down: My computer won't connect to the internet here, and is running out of battery making my time useless.
it's only 6 there's still hope for an Up to end the day (like Cali sleeping with me again!)
9.2.10
Conquering the Wall
I did it!!!! Yesterday I conquered the Rock Climbing Wall!!! I made it to the top! The more I rock climb the more I love it. whoo! Now if I could conquer my homework....
5.2.10
The Woman With God
The woman was outraged when she finally
stood before God.
Red hot with anger,
she moved with authority
toward the Great Chair,
closer than most dare.
"Why did my mother have to die when I was ten?"
she shouted.
God began to speak,
but the woman raised a finger
to Him.
"Why did my father have to be a drunk,
beat me, my sister and my little brother,
tell me I'm ugly, dumb, and useless,
then go and marry that witch,
who then, too,
would hit us"?
Again God motioned to answer, but the woman
shushed Him.
"And then for me to have to go through four
miscarriages
and that terrible abortion"
God's eyes began to water, for he knew all too well
the woman's extraordinarily hard life.
For the last time He tried to speak.
"I AM NOT FINISHED, screamed the woman.
"Why,
why could you not give me
one moment to breathe,
an escape,
anything?
And then why did I have to care for that evil witch
until the end of
my life?
Why did you do this to me? Why?"
The woman burst into tears and collapsed on the ground
Upon seeing this, God also burst into tears
Then, in an unheard of action,
God stepped down
from His Great Chair
and lay beside the woman,
tucking her hair over her ears, so to see her eyes.
The woman looked up to see
God himself
overwhelmed with emotion.
Sobbing, He said,
"I needed you to help the people
I couldn't get to,
you had my knowledge
with your hard experiences.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
But you did such an inspiring job."
-David McWane
I love this poem. So bluntly and well written. I've been thinking about blessings and miracles lately. How it always seems my friends and family are so blessed and get everything they want whereas with me it feels like everytime I really want something it's sure to get taken away from me. But upon reading this I always remind myself there's a reason He (She..) does something. There's a lesson to learn so that I may give my experience to others. Because maybe I can handle it and others may not be able to. Because I AM a lesson. I believe in God and Jesus (and faith) but not in a way most (or anybody) would agree with. I still like to visit church(es) to gain experience, to listen, and to hear what others think but to be rightfully honest to everyone I probably cannot be called a Christian because some fundamental differences I see. I take things abstractly and sometimes in faith things seem to straightforward to EASY. And we all know it's not worth if it's not a challenge. Faith has always been a challenge for me, but not one that I've ever given up on. And it's a good thing if faith is a challenge, if you challenge faith. Because the only way we learn is by asking questions (especailly questions that don't have easy answers) and when we find answers they invariably lead to more questions which will only lead to a stronger support in whatever you believe becasue Faith is personal. We don't have to be the same because no one is right or wrong when it comes to faith and religion. Asking is good! I asked my pastors about Gnosticism a little while back and was so pleased with the answers they gave me. Not because the answers were straight forward but because they were so happy that I was asking. Especailly now when I'm young it's good to seek out information. It was heartwarming to hear how happy they were at my interest.
I know my life isn't that bad, and that I am quite blessed, in different ways than my friends. Sometimes I wonder why I have to be so lonely when my heart aches to love but I have to remind myself that I am alone for a reason. Whatever that reason is I don't fully understand yet but it's getting there slowly. It's revealing strength I never knew I had.
It gives me time to listen, which I need to improve upon most. So I too can hear God. Because God is still speaking,
Blessings
stood before God.
Red hot with anger,
she moved with authority
toward the Great Chair,
closer than most dare.
"Why did my mother have to die when I was ten?"
she shouted.
God began to speak,
but the woman raised a finger
to Him.
"Why did my father have to be a drunk,
beat me, my sister and my little brother,
tell me I'm ugly, dumb, and useless,
then go and marry that witch,
who then, too,
would hit us"?
Again God motioned to answer, but the woman
shushed Him.
"And then for me to have to go through four
miscarriages
and that terrible abortion"
God's eyes began to water, for he knew all too well
the woman's extraordinarily hard life.
For the last time He tried to speak.
"I AM NOT FINISHED, screamed the woman.
"Why,
why could you not give me
one moment to breathe,
an escape,
anything?
And then why did I have to care for that evil witch
until the end of
my life?
Why did you do this to me? Why?"
The woman burst into tears and collapsed on the ground
Upon seeing this, God also burst into tears
Then, in an unheard of action,
God stepped down
from His Great Chair
and lay beside the woman,
tucking her hair over her ears, so to see her eyes.
The woman looked up to see
God himself
overwhelmed with emotion.
Sobbing, He said,
"I needed you to help the people
I couldn't get to,
you had my knowledge
with your hard experiences.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
But you did such an inspiring job."
-David McWane
I love this poem. So bluntly and well written. I've been thinking about blessings and miracles lately. How it always seems my friends and family are so blessed and get everything they want whereas with me it feels like everytime I really want something it's sure to get taken away from me. But upon reading this I always remind myself there's a reason He (She..) does something. There's a lesson to learn so that I may give my experience to others. Because maybe I can handle it and others may not be able to. Because I AM a lesson. I believe in God and Jesus (and faith) but not in a way most (or anybody) would agree with. I still like to visit church(es) to gain experience, to listen, and to hear what others think but to be rightfully honest to everyone I probably cannot be called a Christian because some fundamental differences I see. I take things abstractly and sometimes in faith things seem to straightforward to EASY. And we all know it's not worth if it's not a challenge. Faith has always been a challenge for me, but not one that I've ever given up on. And it's a good thing if faith is a challenge, if you challenge faith. Because the only way we learn is by asking questions (especailly questions that don't have easy answers) and when we find answers they invariably lead to more questions which will only lead to a stronger support in whatever you believe becasue Faith is personal. We don't have to be the same because no one is right or wrong when it comes to faith and religion. Asking is good! I asked my pastors about Gnosticism a little while back and was so pleased with the answers they gave me. Not because the answers were straight forward but because they were so happy that I was asking. Especailly now when I'm young it's good to seek out information. It was heartwarming to hear how happy they were at my interest.
I know my life isn't that bad, and that I am quite blessed, in different ways than my friends. Sometimes I wonder why I have to be so lonely when my heart aches to love but I have to remind myself that I am alone for a reason. Whatever that reason is I don't fully understand yet but it's getting there slowly. It's revealing strength I never knew I had.
It gives me time to listen, which I need to improve upon most. So I too can hear God. Because God is still speaking,
Blessings
3.2.10
A Million Pitfalls
True success does not come after one try, but only after a million pitfalls and lessons learned on the way.
Been thinking about success recently. It's so hard not to want success to come right away but the more you want that only the more frustrated you'll get when it doesn't come. And if it does come it is usually much less satisfying because then it really wasn't a challenge and nothing can be gained from that. We all want things to work out perfectly but can you imagine if they really did? How horrible life would be? No one would ever be pushed to do something new or exciting or to get better at something....or to learn. There's such a satisfied feeling that comes out of accomplishing something you've been failing at for so long. I've got many personal hurdles that I'm currently working on, tackling each at small intervals and slowly I'm getting better. Feeling more accomplished, feeling....well. It's so weird to see all the important things in life people are throwing away day by day. Mental health and growing up are usually just assumed to happen as people grow older but this is sooooo false! You have to make the choice to be healthy and adult! and what counts as healthy today.....pffft!!!! Nowhere close to where people really should be. And we all wonder why we're miserable. It almost feels good to me when I see myself failing at each new thing I try because then at least I'M TRYING. Some people won't ever try something new and unusual, which is really to sad...what they must be missing out on. Of course what I like won't be what everybody else likes but if you never try you never know for sure. I thought I hated peanut butter...then I was forced to try it and behold I then loved it. I'm not perfect but most of my life I've tried new things, even things that scare me, I still try. Variety in life is good, it leaves you feeling fulfilled because even if you try it and don't like it, you've gained knowledge and experience. I don't like spiny rides. I know this because I have ridden them a few times and the last three experiences have left me nauseous, see...there I learned. Most often though I find if you really give something a chance, you end up usually liking it. Chance. Just stare at the word for a bit, absorb it. Peel it apart and poke around. In fact do that with lots of things. Instead of just going through each day. Absorb it, think about it, understand it. Look at it cosmically, be awed by it. Be awed by life in general. Who'd of known this could ever be? Life is different for everybody but I get so sad when I see people just meandering through life, so unthankful, so blind. Open your eyes and be thankful for everything in your life. Be active in life, don't ever just float.
Absorb.
and as always
Que Sera Sera!
Been thinking about success recently. It's so hard not to want success to come right away but the more you want that only the more frustrated you'll get when it doesn't come. And if it does come it is usually much less satisfying because then it really wasn't a challenge and nothing can be gained from that. We all want things to work out perfectly but can you imagine if they really did? How horrible life would be? No one would ever be pushed to do something new or exciting or to get better at something....or to learn. There's such a satisfied feeling that comes out of accomplishing something you've been failing at for so long. I've got many personal hurdles that I'm currently working on, tackling each at small intervals and slowly I'm getting better. Feeling more accomplished, feeling....well. It's so weird to see all the important things in life people are throwing away day by day. Mental health and growing up are usually just assumed to happen as people grow older but this is sooooo false! You have to make the choice to be healthy and adult! and what counts as healthy today.....pffft!!!! Nowhere close to where people really should be. And we all wonder why we're miserable. It almost feels good to me when I see myself failing at each new thing I try because then at least I'M TRYING. Some people won't ever try something new and unusual, which is really to sad...what they must be missing out on. Of course what I like won't be what everybody else likes but if you never try you never know for sure. I thought I hated peanut butter...then I was forced to try it and behold I then loved it. I'm not perfect but most of my life I've tried new things, even things that scare me, I still try. Variety in life is good, it leaves you feeling fulfilled because even if you try it and don't like it, you've gained knowledge and experience. I don't like spiny rides. I know this because I have ridden them a few times and the last three experiences have left me nauseous, see...there I learned. Most often though I find if you really give something a chance, you end up usually liking it. Chance. Just stare at the word for a bit, absorb it. Peel it apart and poke around. In fact do that with lots of things. Instead of just going through each day. Absorb it, think about it, understand it. Look at it cosmically, be awed by it. Be awed by life in general. Who'd of known this could ever be? Life is different for everybody but I get so sad when I see people just meandering through life, so unthankful, so blind. Open your eyes and be thankful for everything in your life. Be active in life, don't ever just float.
Absorb.
and as always
Que Sera Sera!
1.2.10
A Healthier Me
It been the subject on my mind for quite some time now (I know no one else cares but no one but me really sees this thing anyway). I'm even taking an interpersonal class this semester to help me understand myself better and communicate better. When reading the first chapter to our book it talked alot about how you can't have a healthy self without have a healthy body. Body and mind work together and I realized I haven't been very healthy at all for quite some time and maybe part of my sadness and lonliness comes about from sitting so long. So I've made a pact to the healty future me to put down the crap food and get back into veggies and fruits. I was surprised at how delicious it has been eating fruit instead of Mac n Cheese. My morning routine also helps me feel healthier!
Up at 6am (7:30 on weekends at the latest)
Shower
Get dressed
Make Coffee and morning fruit snack
Do Make-Up
Wait to go to class! haha
It feels good though as crazy as it sounds and Mondays then never seem so bad because they are just like every other day.
I've vowed to not only to do Tae Bo but Yoga as well because no exercise it better than another, each is different and has it's strength so I must do them all! I figure I can start my serious areobics when I go home because I can't run (I can't breath when I run) so I'm going to stair stepping with my mom! Rock Climbing is so much fun too! I'm still really scared but the more I do it the more excited I am each time class starts! I like belaying and it's fun because Annie's in the class to so we take turns rock climbing and belaying for each other. It's fun!
Nothing's ever going to be perfect in my life, perfect doesn't exist. And I will still have to battle lonliness each and every day but it will make me a stronger person in the end because the longer I am alone the more I see myself, really truly myself. I don't expect anyone to understand what I mean because I don't know anyone who's been put in the same situation but it's refreshing to peel back all the characters I've played to make people happy and to see that some of those Characteristics are me and some aren't. To stand on your own and truly know who you are when nobody else is around...that's something indescribable, something only those who have faced lonliness day after day can really come to appreciate. I think everyday about Jesus (the man not the myth) and how he lived his life to serve others and it brings me to my knees in tears everytime because that is what I want to be. I want to wash my friends feet, I want my friends to let me be their servant. But it's hard because right now I don't have more than an ear and hug to give. I have barely any food, no money yet I still feel like I have too much. Like I should be trying harder. I want to be selfless someday and I'm going to work hard to get there. I have to remember the good in me each morning. To remember it won't come easy, ever. Nothing in life worth having comes easy. Maybe someday I'll be able to live like Jesus (or as close as someone these days can). I need to learn how to listen more, not to judge or hate anyone. I need to find an inner peace and calmness I cannot yet understand. But maybe someday.
My family is (hopefully) going to the Dead Sea Scrolls over spring break. Mucho exicited!
Blessings to all!
Up at 6am (7:30 on weekends at the latest)
Shower
Get dressed
Make Coffee and morning fruit snack
Do Make-Up
Wait to go to class! haha
It feels good though as crazy as it sounds and Mondays then never seem so bad because they are just like every other day.
I've vowed to not only to do Tae Bo but Yoga as well because no exercise it better than another, each is different and has it's strength so I must do them all! I figure I can start my serious areobics when I go home because I can't run (I can't breath when I run) so I'm going to stair stepping with my mom! Rock Climbing is so much fun too! I'm still really scared but the more I do it the more excited I am each time class starts! I like belaying and it's fun because Annie's in the class to so we take turns rock climbing and belaying for each other. It's fun!
Nothing's ever going to be perfect in my life, perfect doesn't exist. And I will still have to battle lonliness each and every day but it will make me a stronger person in the end because the longer I am alone the more I see myself, really truly myself. I don't expect anyone to understand what I mean because I don't know anyone who's been put in the same situation but it's refreshing to peel back all the characters I've played to make people happy and to see that some of those Characteristics are me and some aren't. To stand on your own and truly know who you are when nobody else is around...that's something indescribable, something only those who have faced lonliness day after day can really come to appreciate. I think everyday about Jesus (the man not the myth) and how he lived his life to serve others and it brings me to my knees in tears everytime because that is what I want to be. I want to wash my friends feet, I want my friends to let me be their servant. But it's hard because right now I don't have more than an ear and hug to give. I have barely any food, no money yet I still feel like I have too much. Like I should be trying harder. I want to be selfless someday and I'm going to work hard to get there. I have to remember the good in me each morning. To remember it won't come easy, ever. Nothing in life worth having comes easy. Maybe someday I'll be able to live like Jesus (or as close as someone these days can). I need to learn how to listen more, not to judge or hate anyone. I need to find an inner peace and calmness I cannot yet understand. But maybe someday.
My family is (hopefully) going to the Dead Sea Scrolls over spring break. Mucho exicited!
Blessings to all!
19.1.10
Trying Hard
I've been trying to figure myself out for a while now and in doing so my journey involves asking questions and constantly trying to take in any new information I can. This has led me to read a couple different Birthday books which has led to an interesting conclusion. Each book was unique in it's own but they all carried a uniform message. That people born on my birthday have a duality personality. It means that we are hardest to describe becuase we can be both equally sad and happy, quiet and outgoing. One book called it the day of agony and extascy. Truth is these books have it right, people have never seemed to have been able to describe me, I've always just been Elly. But this isn't always a good thing. Because I have such a range of emotions and I feel them so strongly it's hard to control them. This is what I've been working on recently. Reminding myself not to lose control over a situation because of my emotions. I think sometimes I come of unstable because I can't control my emotions and I don't like coming off unstable so I've been working on controlling my emotions. This is also important because it effects my schoolwork. So often I seen the final projects of other students and think I'm so far behind everyone. Everytime I struggle I feel like I am the only person struggling and that makes me feel so disappointed in myself. Sad that I don't seem to be talented at anything. I don't give myself breaks easily but I need to learn how to do that. I need to remind myself that the talent will come but I need to learn it. And every project I take on is just another learning experience. A way to find out what I'm good at and what I could work on. It doesn't matter the outcome because as long as I've done something I've won! Sometimes, especailly from looking at other people from the outside, it feels like everybody else has life so easy while I seem to constantly struggle every step of the way and that's really hard to deal with. When I'm staring at ceiling just wishing I had sometime to talk to it sucks knowing everyone is out with someone else having a great time. However, struggling through life has it ups in the sense that as I'm struggling I'm learning, and now I feel like I'm learning fast. I'm starting to (sorta) pull away from living in a fantasy world and dealing with the world around me.
Que Sera Sera
Que Sera Sera
17.1.10
After Class
Class ended Friday! It feels weird to already be done with class, it was so short! haha. However now I'm working on my fashion show piece, it's going to be a deep cowl knit top with a hood and a tube top underneath and a pair of pants. It also has sleeves that I am going to make (separate from the top). It should be fun. I do like Knits a lot and my teacher told me at the end of class that she can see me being better at knits that wovens (which I agree and am totally ok with!) Knits has much more lenency and I like the way it drapes. I've been working on getting up earlier too, and consistantly, which means no more sleeping in on the weekends. Mondays don't feel as bad if they are just like every other day. Classes start next week, it feels so soon but so far at the same time. I'm excited and nervous. I just want to do really well this semester. I always sit down and expect to write so much and then when I actually start I feel like I don't have anything intresting to say. Most of what I talk about has to do with clothes or fashion. I'm such a dork!
Well if you'd like to see my final projects for cut and sew knits here they are!
The swimsuit was tough to fit but for my first swimsuit ever I think it came out pretty well. I'm trying to remember that as much as I wish it were I can't be perfect right away. It's going to take time to learn how to do something. I have extra material so I think I might try making a bikini (that might be all the fabric that I have left) I love the dress too! It is a little big on top so I think I might have to add straps to help keep the dress up. Like I said, I've only been sewing for about a year and a half so I'm nowhere near perfect but hopefully if I keep trying, I'll get there!
Blessing on your journey!
Que Sera Sera!
Well if you'd like to see my final projects for cut and sew knits here they are!
The swimsuit was tough to fit but for my first swimsuit ever I think it came out pretty well. I'm trying to remember that as much as I wish it were I can't be perfect right away. It's going to take time to learn how to do something. I have extra material so I think I might try making a bikini (that might be all the fabric that I have left) I love the dress too! It is a little big on top so I think I might have to add straps to help keep the dress up. Like I said, I've only been sewing for about a year and a half so I'm nowhere near perfect but hopefully if I keep trying, I'll get there!
Blessing on your journey!
Que Sera Sera!
7.1.10
Almost a week?
I can't believe it has been almost a week since I came back, time is really flying! The first couple of days weren't too good mainly because I seemed to have got sicker, finally I let myself sleep for practically an entire day (no I did not skip class) and things got better. So far in Cut and Sew Knits me and my partner (a very nice girl named Emma) have made (the patterns for and the garment) a swimsuit, a knit t-shirt, and a sweatshirt. Tomorrow we are making a pair of sweatpants, then binded shorts (running shorts) and then I think I have two final projects that I have to do by myself (boo...i like partner work). On top of that I'm starting to work on my fashion show piece, which will contain for different pieces (ok one of them are arm bands that should be pretty easy.) Annie has gone home for a week so I have the place all to myself until Wednesday. Some major cleaning will be going on this weekend, not that the place was super messy or anything when I got back but the kitchen needs it and really the place needs a good scrub down. Well I'm off to do some patternmaking hahaha!
blessings to all
p.s. I LOVE KNITS!!!!! hahahahaha!!!
blessings to all
p.s. I LOVE KNITS!!!!! hahahahaha!!!
4.1.10
Bad Habits
I never seem to write when I'm home, too lazy I guess. I'm back up at Stout and taking classes. I'm still kinda sick and seem to (somehow) be getting sicker. My voice is going so that is no fun. It's the start of a new year and I'm sick....bad omen? or is it more of a cleansing thing? I dunno! I don't have many expectations for the year ahead except to do better in school and lose weight. I hope my friends have great upcoming new years, I really do wish the best for them. I know they are all dealing with their own things, and I hope they find suitable solutions to those dealings. Cut and Sew knits started today! By tomorrow me and my partner will have a swimsuit done and a t-shirt pattern done!
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