When Did We Stop Talking?

I feel disconnected from my friends. When did we stop talking to each other? I feel as though recent conversations (if any have actually happened) have merely been plensantries and then on our way. When did we stop actually talking to each other, when did we become more distant? Is it my fault, I do know I could try harder. Are you too busy, am I? Are we both to blame? Is it men, school, work, the fight to lose weight that has us exercising more than talking? Is it because we are different? Are we too different now, could we ever be? I only have two friends left from home and I don't blame them for having lives outside of me (I wouldnt expect me to be the revolving center of their universe) and I'm not blaming anyone, merely wondering, when did we stop talking? Admitidly its always been hard for me to REALLY deeply open up to people. I'm a listener and would most rather listen to other peoples lives than talk about my own. How does that make you feel? Have I shut you out? I watched a movie last night Happy-Go-Lucky and it was a goodie becuase it was about a girl who was always happy even when pitfalls came along. Now it wasn't like she was smiling when someone was yelling at her, during the movie she could be serious and you saw her have moments which proved she obivously felt something but here's the difference, SHE CHOSE TO BE HAPPY. She chose not to let the bad things infect her, she even said during the movie when a friend told her she couldn't make everyone happy "there's no reason for not trying though" and she's right. Lots of times "adults" are really just big babies who refuse to express what they are feeling even if its the better thing to do and all those balled up feelings eat away at us and infect us. The girl in the movie reminded me of a friend of mine, her laugh and smile especially. And I remembered why I became her friend in the first place, becuase she too, wouldn't (won't) let the bad things infect her. I see her life as being so easy and perfect but it's not, she deals with all the same crap I do she just doesn't let it keep her down. Its nice to remember why you choose to become friends with someone because I think after being friends with them you can forget, things get lost, friends get lost. Remembering why i am friends with her reminded me there are things I still want to learn from her and that the people around me are truly amazing. Our lives may be soo different but I think people can stay friends even then when you remember why you are friends, to lean on each other and learn from each other. Each person has a quality someone else wants too. We befriend these people hoping the qualities will rub off on us and will but it isn't magic like that, we have to learn, practice, actively involve ourselves in trying to be what we wish we could. So the more important question than When Did We Stop Talking? will be When Will Start Talking Again? because I love you and my friends, you can't slip that easily away from me! :D

Que Sera Sera!