A Healthier Me

It been the subject on my mind for quite some time now (I know no one else cares but no one but me really sees this thing anyway). I'm even taking an interpersonal class this semester to help me understand myself better and communicate better. When reading the first chapter to our book it talked alot about how you can't have a healthy self without have a healthy body. Body and mind work together and I realized I haven't been very healthy at all for quite some time and maybe part of my sadness and lonliness comes about from sitting so long. So I've made a pact to the healty future me to put down the crap food and get back into veggies and fruits. I was surprised at how delicious it has been eating fruit instead of Mac n Cheese. My morning routine also helps me feel healthier!

Up at 6am (7:30 on weekends at the latest)
Shower
Get dressed
Make Coffee and morning fruit snack
Do Make-Up
Wait to go to class! haha

It feels good though as crazy as it sounds and Mondays then never seem so bad because they are just like every other day.

I've vowed to not only to do Tae Bo but Yoga as well because no exercise it better than another, each is different and has it's strength so I must do them all! I figure I can start my serious areobics when I go home because I can't run (I can't breath when I run) so I'm going to stair stepping with my mom! Rock Climbing is so much fun too! I'm still really scared but the more I do it the more excited I am each time class starts! I like belaying and it's fun because Annie's in the class to so we take turns rock climbing and belaying for each other. It's fun!

Nothing's ever going to be perfect in my life, perfect doesn't exist. And I will still have to battle lonliness each and every day but it will make me a stronger person in the end because the longer I am alone the more I see myself, really truly myself. I don't expect anyone to understand what I mean because I don't know anyone who's been put in the same situation but it's refreshing to peel back all the characters I've played to make people happy and to see that some of those Characteristics are me and some aren't. To stand on your own and truly know who you are when nobody else is around...that's something indescribable, something only those who have faced lonliness day after day can really come to appreciate. I think everyday about Jesus (the man not the myth) and how he lived his life to serve others and it brings me to my knees in tears everytime because that is what I want to be. I want to wash my friends feet, I want my friends to let me be their servant. But it's hard because right now I don't have more than an ear and hug to give. I have barely any food, no money yet I still feel like I have too much. Like I should be trying harder. I want to be selfless someday and I'm going to work hard to get there. I have to remember the good in me each morning. To remember it won't come easy, ever. Nothing in life worth having comes easy. Maybe someday I'll be able to live like Jesus (or as close as someone these days can). I need to learn how to listen more, not to judge or hate anyone. I need to find an inner peace and calmness I cannot yet understand. But maybe someday.

My family is (hopefully) going to the Dead Sea Scrolls over spring break. Mucho exicited!


Blessings to all!