Back in ALD (or blah blah 2...3?)

Hey I'm back again! Ok, I know I've mentioned the lack of sleep I've been getting a lot lately and I'm sure most of you know this but if you can avoid it DO. Staying up is no fun, my body aches physically and I might be getting hallucinations from lack of sleep (it's possible) sleep is sssssoooooo good for you DO NOT FOLLOW MY EXAMPLE! I know most of you won't but there are people out there who don't sleep on purpose to get some thrill out of it...I'm telling you there is no thrill, only sever sleepiness and looking like a public idiot. I want work to be over right now, I want to go back to the apartment and CLEAN (and PACK!) I;m sick of things being dirty but I've been so busy I haven't had the chance to really CLEAN the apartment for....too long. I could put on some MIKA and have a cleaning party! I am soooo crushing on Mika right now, bad bad Elly, celebrity crushes are bad!...but Mika...Mika is almost perfect physically for me (he might be a little taller than I like them) mmmm...gaaah I could drool over him for so long...Turning in all but one text book today... that feels really good, so close but so far....hmpf!Although really it's like what 24 hours maybe less till leave, I miss my family. and my friends it IS the holidays after all, most of all I miss sleeping (I am going to sleep gooooooood tonight so I don't have to worry about driving tomorrow)hoorahh! AND I still have Chinese left form last night that should be good for dinner!I'm shooting to be in bed by 11pm. I know it still sounds late but I can't really make up for the sleep I already lost. It's gone for good never to return. So what I have to do tonight is Eat, Clean, Pack, Study. It shouldn't be too hard because almost everything I own is dirtry so I'm taking it home to get it washed for free! I like free! well ta ta till.....whenever I guess! hahaha

I won't stay away long ( I never do!)

I'M GOING HOME TOMORROW!!!

I get to go home tomorrow!! I can't believe it's already here! I'm so excited. Tonight after work I'm cleaning the apartment because it seriously needs it, especially after both me and Annie have been working on final projects and my room exploded paper and fabric ahahaha. Lots I'm bringing home because I have no room up here and it's annoying. I need more space (even if it's just a little). So yeah FINALLY finished line and actually I'm only ok about it. I worked super hard on it which took me super long then ended up having to throw lots of my hard work away because I didn't have the time. Last night I was a wreck, almost crying. My body had had enough physically. I got nausous, have a headache (still do), felt achy. It was like having a fever but I knew it wasn't really a fever. I'm trying to learn from my mistakes but this time it was just bad timing. I worked really hard. As long as I know how hard I worked the grade doesn't matter. I'm excited to start sewing again when I get home! I got some stuff to make! mmm..yes! Once I finalize the plans for the fashion show I'll post them. Because of the huge cuts this year (only letting in 4 desginers from Junior, Sophomore, and Freshman) I cut my garments from two to one. If I make a good second one in record time I'll try to enter it. But I want to make it into the show. So I'm working on an outfit for Annie to model! I'm excited, finally I'll have time to work on it! oooooo shift change coming up soon, I'll probably post again later! today both sucks and is wonderful! odd huh?

Super Ultra Hyper Drive

I'm on like super ultra hyper drive right now. I don't think I've gotten more than 5 hours of sleep per night for a week (save maybe last Thursday, I might have gotten 7). The incredible thing is I feel incredible, not sleepy or sick just full of choatic energy. It might be because I'm totally freaking out about my line project. Pretty much almost everyset back that could happen, has! ahahahahaha. Ok if you know me then add like 50% more energy and nerves that's me right now. I'm almost shaking! It's probably not a good thing right now but I don't care because I feel good, I've got so much energy I could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on...ok, I've got to stop....I can't really find the video I want now but there's this awesome futurama video that is so me right now ahahahahahhahaha! jeez I shouldn't stay on here any longer, I'm talking crazy! I think I'm slowly starting to calm down here at work. Calm environment, much better. And no, for the record, I am not on drugs.

Apparently I'm not allowed in the club anymore.

ok, this is going to be a touchy subject I talk about so please understand I am not attacking anybody for thier beliefs, I'm merely asking questions and trying to find answers. I apologize ahead of time if I say anything rude or offensive, I sometimes get a little carried away.

Ok, so I've been doing some research on the Gnostic Gospels (and Gnostic Christianity) recently and have been a little disheartned by what I'm finding. Pretty much every website I've been to as exclaimed in the first couple of lines that Gnosticism is NOT Christianity. I can see some reason for thier argument because true Gnostics have a different idea on some of the various Christian beliefs. I guess I felt a little jilted as I was raised and confirmed a Christian and as my spiritual journey has matured and as I have asked questions of the faith and of myself I found the Gnostic Gospels and found some of their ideas....insynch...with mine. Then I set upon my research feeling full that as I Gnostic Christian I could still be accepted by (at least) some Christians only to feel like I've been booted out of the club, suddenly I'm an outsider....it just doesn't seem very "Christian" to blantely proclaim that they do not want people like me to be associated with them. Now I'm sure everyone has thier own view on Gnosticism and where it belongs, I guess because both faiths revolve around God and Jesus that it could be counted at a branch of Christianity (though one that I'm not sure is even really practicing today) The basic low down of Gnostics is that they revolve more around the spirit than the physical. Gnosis is knowledge and to gain gnosis (through a process) would make one...enlightened and they would be part of the Realm of God. Here is why I'm certian Gnostics won't ever be counted as Christians, when it comes to the crucifixtion Christians again believe in the physical (Jesus physically rose from the dead (proving life after death)) while the Gnostics believe that only the spirit is ressurected not the whole body. Most of the Gnostic beliefs center around the idea of spirit and knowledge. For example to achieve gnosis (salvation, living ressurection) one must go through a process that has four elements, the elements being Soul, Mind, Spirit, and Body. The point of Gnosticism is to get achieve Gnosis (which some have described as living above the material) it is about a spiritual connection with God though an elevation of the elements not through forgiveness or sacrifice. I do understand the key differences but are Christians really that offended by these beliefs? I'm not saying either religion is right or wrong or one is better than the other (which I know relgious debates always come out sounding that way) it's just a different way of looking at Jesus and God and truth be told if Christians are so solid in thier beliefs why care at all about anothers? I've been reading alot of people knocking down the Gnostic beliefs as if they didn't even deserve to exist. Why do people care what other people believe. Every person in this world has lived a unique life because of this no one's perspectives will be exactly the same but why can't we get to a place where we don't care. I'm not trying to convert anyone here to Gnosticism, I'm simply asking why people keep knocking it down. If I want to believe that the Kindom of God is a spiritual level not a physical place and you are solid in your beliefs (whatever they may be) shouldn't you be congratulating me for finding my way on the journey of faith, not telling me the beliefs have no basis in history and are practically garbage? Again not everyone will act like this but there are people out there who do (or else I wouldn't have read thier writings and be writing this today) Faith is personal, get over it, people will believe what they want to. I'm sorry, it's just frustrating. I grew up with lots of faith freedom to ask questions and discover things for myself and I've always believed in the root of Christianity, and to me that is Jesus' teachings, the fact that Jesus loved everyone no matter who they were, he loved the most hated people. I think that when Jesus spoke of being the son of God, he wasn't trying to be literal (as he did call other people son of God too) but more so he called himself the Son of God because he was close to God, he saw what God wanted for our world and how to achieve that. To truly live like Jesus, wow, I give credit to anyone whose acheived it (I know I haven't) it's not easy, that's for sure. But I'm going to keep trying because at the base of everything Jesus was a spectacular MAN who lived in the most spectacular way, who got IT. someone who understood the meaning of life and someone who died for it. What his personal life was like I wont go into, if you really want to know my point of view on that feel fee to ask me and I'll tell you but I don't think it's worth posting because that can REALLY offend people (as if I probably haven't offended a bunch already) but my view on Jesus could probably push some people over the edge, so I'll play it safe. But again, your free to ask it's no secret I just don't want to go about bragging about it is all.

So I end this all with a saying that speaks volumes of the kindess of Jesus (to me at least)


LET ME BE YOUR SERVANT

blessings on your journeys

Elly

Everybody Needs a Break

Last night I took a break from homework, it'll probably come back to me and kick me in the ass, but my eyes and head hurt from staring at a computer screen for so long and for the first time this week I wanted a full nights sleep (it felt soooooooooo good!) 7 days 7 DAYS AND I'LL BE HOME!!!!! hahahahahhaa whoooooooo!!!!!!!!! I'm excited for Christmas, can you tell? I want this semester to be over, a little less stress in my life will be nice. Plus next semester sounds fun and I can't wait for Cut and Sew Knits in winter! Then I'll be able to make knit garments! I'm so excited! I love knits! Who wants a bikini??!! hahaha! The only thing I'm hesitant about next semester is taking over Ambassador Program, I hope I don't muck it up! I don't really feel like Megan taught me very much or made me very ready for taking it over. mmmm. Oh and I bought my first Stout Apparel last week! Now I have a Stout Sweatshirt huuzzah! haahaa. The Christmas Spirit has swept me up, I feel happy and thankful! but coooold, why is it so cold here brrrrr!!!!!!

Thanks be to the Blizzard! (and God!)

My Prayers were answered! It is blizzarding so hard up here the entire campus was closed by the governor and because I work on campus that means I don't have to work today either! My ENTIRE DAY IS FREE!!!!....to do homework that is. WHOOOOO!!!!!! I'm going to take some pictures to day to show you the one day damage snow can do hahaha

First Real Snow

It's was the first real snow today (well actually still is because it's STILL SNOWING!) It's been snowing since this morning, apparently we are supposed to have at least 6 inches. WINTER IS HERE! hahaha. Ugh too bad I can't really enjoy it. Again for the next week and half I'm going on practically no sleep. My new strategy is power napping. I'll nap from anywhere from a half an hour to two hours get up and work until I pass out for another nap. The word "stressed" can't even begin to explain how I feel right now. So much is piling up. Stupid school. I want to hold out till one am to nap but I am running out of steam and I really only slept about an hour and half last night. Maybe I'll go nap now, set my alarm for 1:30 and start working again then, when I get a little rest. Luckily I've promised myself that I HAVE to go the Humane Society as often as possible because it helps relieve my tension. I forget about myself for that time. Today I went and I'm glad I did. I got to pet kitties and because they were short staffed I helped out the workers do some cleaning too. I pledged to help anyway I can! It just makes me so happy being there! I'm happy at school too but sometimes when the work is so heavy it feels a little more like a burden because if it was just apparel I'd be ok but it's all my other classes too. Not fun. Anyways I think I'm going to nap for a bit. Then get back to work. Whoo!

The Bad, The Good, and Everything In Between

The Bad: There's a case of ringworm running rapid at the Dunn County Humane Society. Both Friday and today I had to leave earlier than I wanted to because I found kitties with symptoms of ringworm. It's not as bas as it sounds, it is easily treatable but it does take quite a bit of time to get over. I feel so bad for the kitties! It's a good thing that I am catching these things though, for both the kitties and the other volunteers and workers! Still though....Get better soon kitties!!!


The Good: Apparently this short clip film I had done for my experimental film class made it into this exhibition to represent the Film Department at UW-Milwaukee! Holy cow! How come nobody told me this? Why was I never informed? I just found out today when I decided to Google my name (Elly not Elizabeth) and I thought my blog might be the first thing to show up (it actually is at the bottom of the page funny!) but instead this other blog for the Film Department at UWM pops up and I thought it might just be my name from a posting, or comment, or some random thing but NO! I MADE IT INTO AN EXIBITION (or well at least my work did!) HHOOOOOORAAAAHHH!! You have no idea what I feel right now! I wonder if I would have known back then would I have gone into film instead of fashion (film being another big love of mine) I was just completely taken aback! What a wonderful St. Nicks gift!

The Inbetween:
All the classes and the work that I have to do for them. I was going to do a bonus project for marketing but now I just might skip it. So much to do I don't know if I will have the time. mmmm, Well see but I doubt it. If I get a B in that class I'm okay with it. I'd rather work on other projects right now....speaking of other projects....LINE!


P.S. Macaroni and Cheese made without the milk. Still good.

Happy St. Nick's!

Happy St.Nick's Day! Have you checked your socks? hahaha! I can't believe St.Nicks is here already, oh the holidays are creeping up on us! (well on me!) It's times like this I think fondly of my childhood. When I was little my mother had handmade our stockings (or was it my grandma?) Either way they were handmade and wonderful! I remember running downstairs in the morning to see the stocked so full they couldn't hang anymore! It was full of candy and small gifts. Many years in a row I got Beanie Babies in mine. I remember sitting in front of our heatvent (it was always cold in our house) in the morning admiring everything. I also wonder what my mom must feel like now. None of the children are at home anymore, no more stockings to fill. Does she miss it, is she too remembering fondly of our happy faces and excitement? Is she happy to have one less thing to worry about? Is she still hanging our stockings up or has the thought of St. Nick completely gone out of mind, has she forgotton?

I also think happily of the day when I sneek candy and gifts into my own children's (homemade) stockings. I can't wait to see thier excited faces as they enjoy thier new gifts and candy. ahh but that's a long long time from now...still I dream.

Que Sera Sera!

Blessings on your journey!

Blah Blah Blah 2

I either have too much engery or not enough, or I'm not using my engery productivly. I've been moving constantly today,I don't know why, I think I'm just anxious to get out of class and go take a nap!....and then do some homework. It could also be the mass amount of choclate covered pretzles I just shoved into my mouth. I dunno, maybe it was the coffee I had last night but it wasn't even a full cup....mmm.

The scoop in line, I've gotten past the report part of the project so now it's on to designing! I'll have twenty-three pieces total whoo! I've already got some ideas I just got to get them down.

This weekend I'm off to look for a job that can give me more hours, cause I need them. I need money :(

Everything else is going pretty fine, small headache but no biggy

muhahaha
I'm telling you something's got me rattled, but I don't know what

Elly out

Ultra Special Blah Blah Blah

I want the semester to end....now. mmm, but I young grasshoper must wait hahaha. Finals are fast approaching two out of four are projects so if I work hard hopefully they won't be very bad! Today I'm going to get a head start on my study guides for the the finals. whooo (at least that's my plan haha). I think what I'm currently worried about is gifts! Oh when will I have the time to make them! on top of that WHAT will I make for WHOM! hahaha I've got Margie's I know for sure!

I never want to give up volunteering at the Humane Society, ever! I love being with the animals! It reminds of being in Guatemala and the children were always soooo happy just that you showed up! They never expected anything from you and loved you for the simplest things. The cats at the humane society are like that too, so happy to see you even though they don't even know you! Many of the cats jump right out at you when you open the cage. I won't lie are are some unfriendly cats at the humane society but they've probably had their tough times. Yesterday when I went in they recieved a new cat, it must have been a stray because it was in pretty bad condition. I couldn't get to close myself but the girl who was washing the cat said he smelled awful and had fur missing and skin! She said something about maybe thinking he had feline luekemia from the way he looked. There were other things wrong with him too but I didn't catch it all. I remeber looking down at the kitten I had in my arm, cradled like a baby. She might have had a cold cause she sneezed a few times and had gunky eyes but that can be commone for these cats because with so many it's hard to keep illnesses contained. But at that moment I just snuggled my face into her trying to cry. Such loving cats deserve happy homes, all the poor cats on the street, it wasn't their choice to be there. Quite a few cats have already been adopted but there is at least one cat who's been around since 2007. It just makes me so sad that these doggies and kitties don't have homes and people to love them. So I want to! I can't afford to get a cat right now so I want to keep going to the humane soceity as much as possible and love all the cats I can!

No longer will sadness and anger creep into my life, all smiles all smiles!

hahaha

Que Sera Sera

May you be blessed in your journeys!

It's On Your Back!

Your good qualities! They're on your back! For about 2 years I've been a lost little girl, I've taken big steps but I am by no means done finding out who I am. It's important that people see thier good qualities but this is very hard for me because it's like good qualities are on our backs it's easy to see what other people have and it can make you feel so plain, boring, and jelousy grows because it's impossible to see your own good qualities on your back. I don't know why but I seem to have a harder time with this than most people. It doesn't help that I don't like praising myself, telling myself I did a good job. I can tell myself that I worked hard but all that hard work summounted to something that was mediocre (if that). But I can see the all the good qualities in my friends (it's not hard, they have so many!!). This weekend at home was really quite wonderful, I love my friends and family!! I got to spend a night at my brothers apartment hanging out with him and my sister, I love them so much! I am so blessed to have them as my siblings! I was the youngest but my brother and my sister were always very nice to me! It was a lot of fun to hang out with them and I hope to do it some more come winter break. Seeing my friends was truly a blessing too! I won't lie because thier lives are moving forward so fast it easy to see what I don't have when I am around them. It's silly I know, but I can't help but to compare and constantly come up short. My life is constantly high stress but I rapidly getting used to it (getting used to it does not mean enjoying it hahaha!) No am I so blessed to be at Stout! The school is not the hardest but the program is intense to make sure that I am prepared for a job right out of graduation! Under a pile of work that is sometimes hard to see but I guess it is out there somewhere, haha I believe it when I am closer! I've only been doing apparel for about a year and half and while I've learned a lot much of my focus is on all that I have left to learn. I'm not top of my class, I doubt I ever will be but that doesn't mean I'm not still learning! I'm by no means good at all though yet. I've much to learn and perfect and it will probably take me my entire life! I don't know where the sadness in my heart came from, nothing sad ever really happened to me but still I know a part of my heart is sad, has been for a long time. I first noticed a sadness I couldn't explain back in 7th grade when I tried (empahsis on tried) writing poetry and it was all very sad and dark. I don't know why? I've never been able to discover what made this sadness but I know I don't want it anymore. I've had a great life and it's high time I start apprieciating it and stop being such an ungrateful bitch. I may not be where I wish I was in life, my dreams may be bigger than I can ever accomplish but I don't want this tainted heart anymore. I want a good heart, a pure heart. I must not think bad things about people anymore! no more judging, no more categorizing! hmmm....this isn't going to be easy, but I want to be a good person!


God help me.

A New Record

A New Record:
72 Hours
7 1/2 Hours of Sleep

feel free to call me amazing. :)

Weekends Go By Way To Fast

48 Hours
7 Hours of sleep


That's what my weekend was! And it's bound to be a late night tonight but that's okay, that's what I signed up for right? What's more important is that it's taking me so long to finish this project because I'm working so hard on it. And I do have to say I like it! I like the clothes I've done! I'm worried (as always) that Kim won't like it (she never usually likes my designs) but after talking to Annie I'm trying to remember that grades aren't really all that important. What's important is that I give it my all and I like what I'm doing because in the end Kim's not going to hire me, so I can't make all my designs to what she likes. It might mean getting B's on all my project, I think I can handle that. The good thing is that I have the drive to take the time to do all the little extra stuff. I have extra designs, extra colors, extra free gifts and accessories. Hmm instead of trying to explain why don't I just show you what I've been working on


PRESENTING FURUBA CHILDREN'S WEAR (TODDLER) BY PINK ELEPHANT CLOTHING CO!

















All in all I'm pretty happy with it, Hopefully I'll put up the croqis when I'm done with them (sometime tommarrow morning probably haha)
I'm happy to be going home for Thanksgiving too
I love it up here but I do miss my family (even though they drive me crazy) and my friends (until they all move away!) Plus my cuz is driving me home so that will be fun! Mostly I think I like the space of home (and ok I won't like I miss my sisters dog Veda)

...or maybe I just can't wait to sleep again. haha

Apologies

Apologies about exploding on you the other day. I was just so frustrated. Annie did the dishes later that day. I seem to be underestimating people this year, not a good quality, but I'm afraid when I overestimate the only person who gets hurt is me. Right not I'm gleefully putting off homework (though that isn't a good thing either haha). I'm just tired of drawing something I'm not even going to use for my project (like the 6 boy crouqis were assigned to). I feel like I should have some more interesting things to say but I don't right now my apologies! Except that it's certainly getting cooler up here, not something I'm enjoying! And I have about 2-3 weeks worth of laundry to do! I was supposed to last week but my car was in the shop and I didn't want to walk to the laundry mat so I put if off (except now I'm running low on clothes!) I think I'm going to do a GET INSPIRED once a week where I'll put up photos or things that inspire me and see what you can do with them, It doesn't have to be fashion but let something inspire you do anything! haha hopefully I'll start that soon!

good idea? no? haha

I'm trying not to complain but....

Let me preface this entry with two facts
1. I like my roommates (most the time).
2. I love living in an apartment (all the time).

My roommates are horrible horrible liars. I might have mentioned before breifely that Annie and I had a talk about cleaning the apartment (especially dishes). That no longer was I to be the lone dishwasher and that we would take turns each doing a "load" of dishes per day. I forgot my roommates are horrible horrible liars. This week turned out to me doing the dishes, I did not do them everyday but I was the only one who did dishes at all this week (both being pretty big loads of dishes). Now Sunday comes and the sink is overflowing of dishes that haven't been done since Thursday (I believe, it could've Wednesday) Talk about disgusting! A good portion of those dishes aren't even mine. I have it, my roommate are basically useless and I'm afraid I might lose my mind and hurt them while thier sleeping someday. Now I am going to start doing the healthy thing. After this month I am distancing myself from them. No more community shopping, I'm buying my own food. No more community dishes (I'll do my own and that's it). If their not going to play by the rules then why should I? If their not going to try to be nice then why should I? This isn't the first time Annie's promised me something and hasn't followed through and it's one of my biggest pet peeves to jerked around like that, it's not fair to me! So I've had it. I refuse to do the mass of dishes that are piling up, someone else can take care of them I won't do it. I'm going to admit that that is very hard for me. Above all else I demand a clean kitchen and bathroom. But I'm no ones mother here and I'm sick of cleaning only to hear them say "i was going to do it" no you weren't. If you were going to do you would have. Another big argument I hear for not washing the dishes immediatly after use is "I don't have time." Do they honestly think I have more time than they do! My roommates are in bed by 10:30 most nights while I'm up working till midnight most nights. Well then yes obviously I have more time right? I'm sorry for raging but I'm fed up with empty promises. The next promise Annie makes to me I'll probably laugh at because it won't happen, I know it won't.

The worst feeling is that I'm trying to be nicer to them than they are to me. And they don't even care. I wish my friends went to school here and I could live with them. At least they wouldn't shunt me.

now I'm sad that the loneliest place is my apartment, and I've signed up to do this a whole nother year, what have I gotten myself into? Maybe Annie will go to Germany and I'll get to get myself a new roomie, one that won't break my heart so much. And won't buy $5.00 milk.

I've got to go now and get rid of these ugly feelings.

A slow down

ok, so this week has been pretty busy, not as bad as orginally thought as I changed some plans to better accomdate some time. For instance, now that menswear is done we are starting on Childrenswear, which believe it or not I am actually pretty excited for! I've got my inspiration and ideas I just have to put it together. My inspiration is (get ready for it...) FRUITS BASKET! Yes, the japenese anime series that I started in high school has made its revival back into my life. The cutness of the characters and the fantastical story line really get to me and I think it would be perfect and bright and cute for children. The line will be entitled "Furuba" which is the shortened name for Fruits Basket used in Japan. It will be alot of pastels and pinks whoo! Something new! It's funny that I realize menswear is not my forte but the women's wear I do usually isn't very girly either,hahah, and I fall between the cracks again. Anyways back to what I was orginally saying is that I wanted to take an early bus home on Tuesday for Thanksgiving but thanks to this new project being due that day and work it would just be too much hassle to shove it all in, so I decided to take the later bus and give myself a little break (not much of one but I can have four extra days to work on the project if I had taken the other route). I'm still decideding whether to concentrate in Design or Development, it's really only a difference of a couple classes so it's not a big deal or anything but I should decide that soon because it will help decide where I go for an internship too. I've been thinking a lot lately about doing theatrical design which means hopefully I can intern at a theatre (or for the movie in L.A.!)which brought me to another thought that if my life needed me to move to New York or California I think I would do it. Which brought me a realization, most of my life has been "I'll never do that!" When it comes down to it though I am the biggest hypocrite because I said I'd never wear jeans again and now that's almost all I wear, and I have a pair of slip on tennis shoes (sketchers!) which I thought I'd never own. The thing to look at here isn't my hipocracy but that you never know where life will take you and if you'll like it or not. The only thing to do is try, try, try until you get it right, now you might be thinking for saying this I'm an even bigger hypcrite will I do try but the other important thing I think is to NOT FORCE TRYING. If you start to force your life you'll just be unhappy and confused to as why. When you're ready and life gives you the option I think there's no reason to back down except cowardness. But it's like math if one or both the components are missing it doesn't work. So my advice to everyone, keep your head up, eyes open, walk forward, and life will give you the option to succeed if you see it and you want it, take it. If not, keep in my that there was a reason you passed something by, even if that very same thing works out for someone else, there is something better for you coming. (speaks the hypocrite).

Speaking of Menswear here are some flats from my project (the crouqis(apparel term for drawn models) were pretty fucking hideous so I'm leaving those out
The Inspiration: Music-Bob Dylan, Bob Marley (fight the power stuff)
The Name of the Line: Hi-FI By Pink Elephant of course!








The Elephant is the logo Annie drew for me YaY!
Whadda think?
more later!

Promise to me

I promised myself that I would update this week but it seems like it's going to be a busy busy week so I've got to update fast.

Still working on my Menswear line which is do tommorrow, I feel an all nighter coming up
SAS meeting today talked with Ellie (an friend of mine) of how SAS should be changed, sick of some things SAS lets by.
Still trying to desgin 2nd piece for show, must complete them both over winter break
Working out next semester schedule....think I'll do rock climbing over aerobic dance.
still trying to get second job, going to try to get a job a Sparx where Annie works.
Things with Annie much better worked out a better system of doing dishes VERY HAPPY.
Had car towed today, clutch not working, won't know till end of week what's up.
Found out I'm going to have to do a big project in just a little over a week in order to be home earlier on Tuesday, not fun.
Going to try to start getting up earlier and doing homework in morning and going to bed earlier, start this next week.
Maybe go see movie with Marketing group on Friday, fun.
Haven't gone to Humane Society in week because of car, want to go really bad, very sad.
Deciding whether to take 15 credits or 17 credits, gah
Really wish I wasn't at work but working on my project instead. :(
Merchandising teacher pushed off test to friday! Still don't think I'll have much time to study.
hmmm, I ended up writing most of this like a list didn't I? Told you, many things to do, many. Hopefully it won't be as bad as I assume it is
All in all I'm busy but happy (except for my car breaking down) This is going to be a good year if I can keep up the momentum and actually start doing the projects I plan on

To all my friends who I have promised to do things for and have yet failed to complete them I apologize greatly, hang in there with me it might still be a while but I would love to do things for you remember that things are hetic for me up here and it's not like I'm going to bed at 8 everynight and choosing not to do these things for you. I don't even have to time to do the things for myself I'd like to do. Please forgive me my dear friends.

Good Times

Recently I had been feeling that me and Annie have been drifting apart. We don't really hang out much and anytime Annie's home she's almost always locked up in her room with Neal. But yesterday was Model Call for the fashion show and me and Annie went together (because she's modeling one of my outfits and I'm modeling the other). It was fun! We wore high heels and practiced walking, it made me so excited for the show! After we came back we decided to go on a girls night out and went and got dinner, alcohol, and a movie. We went and saw Where The Wild Things Are, IT WAS AWESOME!! I loved it and how honest it was. It was really nice to have that time with Annie to bond! Sometimes we can be very different but we really get along well together. The only thing that sucked was when we came back after the movie Neal was back from work and apparently sour that Annie wasn't home. It's weird Neal isn't a bad person but sometimes he seems.....clingy? It feels like he wants Annie all to himself sometimes which sucks because then when the three of us are home it doesn't feel like the three of us it feels like THEM and ME. Which ends up making me feel unwanted (and unappreciated when I clean up after them). Neal doesn't really seem to make an effort to be my friend to, I feel like to him I'm just a roommate he has to PUT UP with which I really don't like. I feel a very resentful energy coming from him which I don't understand becuase it's not like I have anything he would want or like Annie spends all her time with me. It's wierd.... oh well. Anyways we came back and Annie was showing him something she bought for her costume and telling him how she somehow put her underwear on sideways (which was totally funny) so I came into the conversation because it was a funny story and I thought we could have a conversation including three pieces so Annie said something to Neal and he didn't respond so she asked him again and he kind of snapped on how Annie was talking to me and not him and that HE wanted to talk to her but she wasn't talking to him. It was a little bizzare if you ask me. Then Annie went into her room and Neal followed and shut the door creating the obvious atmosphere of THEM and ME again and I did all of Neal's dinner dishes. Awesome. I don't know why Neal doesn't seem to like me I've never done anything to him (oh pardon me I clean up after him, bad elly BAD elly Ugh)
oh and part of my ceiling fell down yesterday and a bunch of water came with it soaking half my room so I had to clean up that yesterday after the movie too. It was a good day, most of it.

Menswear

I don't have much time to talk inbetween classes but I want everyone to know MENSWEAR IS KICKING MY ASS! I don't know what men want but I'm trying to figure it out. Let's all pray.

Been Distracted

I feel like even though I've been going to class and doing work I've been very distracted lately and am not really taking things in anymore, I feel like my brain is clogged with tons of stuff I really shouldn't be fussing over right now. I know I said before I was going to start going to church but I haven't yet so I am definatly going tomorrow. I need some spritiual guidence and freedom from some of these burdens that are clogging my brain that should be for school and learning. I feel more exhausted lately too, like I just don't have the energy for anything anymore, once I sit down I never want to get up again and that's not good. I definatly need to be "refreshed" and hopefully going to church will do that, maybe I just need to cry to, I haven't cried in a long time (well a long time for me) and I feel such a pressure from some unresolved issues I have but I haven't had the time to sit back breath and deal with them and cry them out like I usually do. I know crying is usually a sign of weakness but for me it's usually just a pressure release, I bottle up issues until I can't take it anymore and one small thing (movie, T.V. show, song) just brings out the tears and finally feel like I can breath again. I can breath again, sorta.

The Firsts

Well there have been some first up here this week, first snow and first all-nighter. These firsts are not good things! The all nighter was partially my fault since I had a wedding to go to last weekend, my cusin got married! I never though he would be the second to get married in our family, but he was simply beeming that day, it was soooo cute!Anyways my first project for Line Development is done!!!! HUZZAH! Now were on to project #2-Menswear Line ohhhohhhhhh.....crap. I know nothing about mensweear! I have no idea what men like to wear, I'm screwed. On the girly plus side I started wearing actual make-up again, I'm sooo cute hahahaha.

But yes, It has begun to snow up here already and I say begun because it has snowed more than once. It isn't really sticking but the fact that it's snowing already SUCKS! I'm not used to cold weather yet, I literally went from mid 70's to mid 40's within a day, ugh!

Other than just been doing lots of schoolwork and work! hoho!
(and lots of lovin at the Humane Society!)

BYE!

Sober

Hello!
I feel chatty...so lets chat, this way I can avoid work and homeowork all at the same time

Annie and I are offically volunteers at the humane society!!! I am loving it!!! The kitties are all so cute!!! I'm going to start taking pictures if they let me. Sadly (becuase of people like me :D) there is a 30 day waiting period for volunteers to adopt. There is already one cat that I'm eyeing up. His name is Birch (which I am sooo changing) but he's a orange tabby, he's over a year old but he's got spunk! As soon as I opened up the cage he climbed on to me (he's not declawed) as if he was giving me a big hug! He was a climber though and was all over me in seconds (and he wasn't letting go) but what a loverboy! He just kept on purring and rubbing his face on mine and "hugging" me! I feel so bad because the cats aren't allowed on the floor (to keep illnesses from spreading) but there isn't really any counter space for them to play or run around on. I feel like lots of the cats that are all over the place just really need to run around for bit then they'll calm down. I wonder if instead of fostering kitties they would let me and Annie take home cats so they could have some running space for a bit. I've already got some "project cats" too as I call them. One is Dory a sweet grey cat, she wants be loved but when I opened her cage to take her out she seemed scared so I just kept petting her in her cage, I found out she doesn't like to be pet on the head (she'll duck and run if you try) but if she gets comfortable enough she just loves it when you pet her tummy! I put her to sleep! There are other cats that are like that too, oh I just want to help them all! I love doing this, I love helping out pets! I wonder if I stay up here this summer if I could get a job at the humane society!

well on another note
I read Danielle's blog today as she pointed another blog that she read about someone being "facebook sober" and her quite new feelings about facebook. I have been facebook sober for almost two years and I agree that I feel so much better. I'll admit the facebook concept wasn't bad, to keep high school friends in touch during college not a bad idea, in an ideal world where people aren't idiots. Sadly, our world is not such a place. The whole internet social network seems like a good idea but people are self-involved nosy nellies (me included mind you) now I'm not saying everyone is always "look at me Look at me" but I realized that only during the facebook and myspace years of my life did I take hundreds and hundreds of pictures of myself to post for everyone to see and comment. The other girl who talked about this mentioned that people get way to personal on facebook and I agree, worst is the more you know the more you WANT to know. Say if I was on facebook and I saw someone who I may not be close to talk about how sad they were I would probably be more compelled to keep checking there page to find out why despite the fact that it is none of my business. More interesting is that slowly (very slowly) more and more people are feeling uncomfortable (and even guilty) going on facebook. In fashion we learn that when a new trend comes out few people have it and everyone wants it, slowly the trend will trickle down to the masses and the market will be saturated with the trend (at this point the trendy stop wearing it) eventually the trend passes and something new enters. I predict that facebook is starting to expeirence this. Myspace is practically nonexistant now because it became staturated and facebook came along. For a while now facebook has saturated the world making more add-on thingys and expanding and what not, but people are starting to get bored (and weirded out it seems) by these personal web pages that people make waaaay to personal. With all the technology that pushes us forward are people finally seeing that webpages don't bring happiness? (ok maybe briefly they do) I still stand by that if a friend is close enough to me they will find other ways to contact me (which all of my dear friends do) I don't need false friends telling me happy birthday and I really don't need to be so self-aware of how the world sees me. I choose not to play the social game. I hope that the more people speak out about being facebook sober the more other people will listen. Now I'm not going to tell you facebook is evil, as I already said the concept was good, it's people that ruin it. If you love facebook by all means keep using it, screw actually calling people, going out and having face to face contact, who needs that anymore? Sit infront of your computer put off homework, don't pay attention in class (after paying thousands of dollars to be there why would you?)! Facebook isn't evil but don't let yourself get sucked into a world that doesn't exist, remember fresh air? Go out and get some! Go for walks, read a book, do something! Trust me I do not disinclude myself in this group. I need to shut the computer as much as everybody else. But I've been facebook sober for alomst 2 years, what about you? Share your story, please TALK ABOUT IT

What to be for Halloween

Guys!!! I don't know what to be for Halloween this year! Or what to do! I need ideas, and places to be! Right now I'm leaning toward Max from Where the Wild things are, which means making my very own body suit (whoo!) and buying lots of fur fabric ahah. I can't think of anything else that would be interesting and fun and tomarrow is my trip to Eau Claire for fabric...

Well I guess I oughta...

Things have been good, apartment living is awesome! I love having actual responsibilites even if they sometimes suck. School is alright, not too hard but not too easy either ha! I do have some great news that I don't think I've shared yet though..

1. Last year Cariss, Ellie, and I took Fashion Industries together and for a final project had to create either a product, line, or store. Our group decided to do ramped up 50's swimwear. The concept was basically convertable swimwear with a 50's style to it. The store was called Gidget after the 50's surfer girl icon. Well apparently our teacher liked the idea so much she wants us to do an independent study next semester to actually MARKET the idea. I don't know where it will go but were going to see if we can really get the Gidget line out there! how cool!!! We are all super psyched to be doing this and out of live 11-15 groups there was only one other group she liked enough to do the same thing with! haHA! oh it feel awwwwwesome.

2. I wanted to wait for sure before announcing this but get your whiskers twitching. Me and Annie have been considering fostering kitties, but recently one of her friends moved and might not be able to keep her cat at her new place so she needs someone to watch it. Me and Annie volunteered, so we might be getting a cat! It won't be for forever but we decided it would be a good tast of what life would be like if we adopted a kitty (which we are considering). I'm so excited! So be jelous cat lovers hhahahahaha.

This year will be a busy one for sure, but so far I'm lovin it and not in a fatty McDonalds way...which story time! Neal (apparently that how he spells his name) is no longer a vegetarian so me and him went to Burger King to chow down on some meat. Man, I really don't like fast food (except Taco Bell and McDonalds Pies) which I realized is a really good thing. screw you bad food. Of course I keep making cookies soooo....meh. I closed for the first time at work yesterday too, not bad at all. None of the supervisors are there so everyone does like the minimum amount of work and pretty much just does their homework most of the night. I like working weekends because it gives me more of a chance to talk with co-workers and not feel guilty about it so I finally get to know people. I like that.

one sucky thing

I like line but I've drawn so much recently I can't stand it anymore. To get a taste, I've already spend one night up drawing till 3:30 in the morning. blech. oh well I'm getting used to it. haha.

Time Keeps On Slippin'.....

Whew! Time seems to be moving by fast. First things first I have a wonderfully cute story to tell you. As I've told you before Annie's boyfriend Neil went to India for five months. He left about a week ago, but yesterday Annie got a call from him FROM CHICAGO! Yep, he has flown back to the U.S. to be with her again. I wasn't with Annie when she got the call but she came out of her room crying to tell me the news. It was soooo sweet! You know it's true love when two people can't spend a week apart! So now I live with a couple, it's not so bad really and BONUS! Neil going to help us pay bills so I save! (hopefully). Me and Annie (and probably Neil) are also thinking about volunteering at the local Humane Society and possibly becoming a foster home for kitties! I really want to do that! I'm so excited! Classes are going ok, just starting the first full week of school. I'm trying to stay ahead of classwork which is going pretty well so far. Op! class time!

And So Classes Begin...

Well classes began today, nothing too bad, my Basic Merchandising class sounds like a lot of research (ugh!) but hopefully it won't be too hard. Everything's going to be picking up now, whoo! It may not sound like it beacause I haven't been updating much but I am happy to be back. Living with Annie is turning out be an AWESOME decision. We get along really well and are both very sharing people. We have agreed to go grocery shopping together and each of us cooks 3 meals a week, for which I am excitited to learn recipes and stuff. Both of us also want to slim down so were trying to cook and buy healthy goods. It's alot easier if your not the only one trying to diet. I think living with her will be really fun and since we have our own spaces to retreat to when we need to it shouldn't be so in your face as the dorms. I love not having to eat campus food!SuperPlus Annie (and Neil) love Rowdy! And hopefully and get even more involved with stuff. This year I'm hoping to join Threads (Stouts Knitting and Crocheting club) and go to church more (I found out that I live right across the street a UCC church-the religion I grew up with!) so it should be fun to do that, I love exploring and questioning faith, where better to do it?! I started work today too, there were quite a few changes over summer but I'm quickly getting my form back I got to work desk today for two hours so that was nice. I love work circulation desk, makes me feel like a librarian. I always liked that feeling. Too bad I'm too lazy to get my Master's or I might actually think about it. haha

Well I ought to go, want to catch Annie before she leaves for work.


"I must go on standing, you can't break that which isn't yours, I must go on standing it's not my choice, I'm not my own."-Regina Spektor

Checking In

Hey just checking in, things are starting to pick up here. Classes start in 2 days (Wednesday) whoo. Annie moved in yesterday and Neil (her boyfriend) who was also going to live with us has sadly left to visit India for FIVE monthes. It amazes me really how he has the strength to do this alone, I feel bad for Annie, Lord knows she'll miss him so very badly. I'll be sure to be there by her side. haha. Getting books tommorrow, should also by more supplies for class but probably won't right away. Gah, I really wish I had more interesting things to say but I really don't right now. Except this-Living in an apartment is awesome and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love it I really do.

Back In Menomonie

Ok, I know, I didn't write all summer, I really didn't think anyone would notice, and they didn't so I win. Sunday I drove back to Menomonie by myself, it really wasn't that bad of a drive the first hour went by incredibly fast, yea, it would have been more fun if I had someone to talk too (Rowdy doesn't count he doesn't talk back) OH! yes that's right you may or may not know about Rowdy the small painted turtle I caught this summer and gave to my friend, who couldn't keep it so gave it back to me! I call him Rowdy, and amazingly care for him a lot. You wouldn't think a turtle would have much of a personality but Rowdy does! I love having a pet again, something that take away a bit of the loneliness. I actually beat my roommate back so for now the apartment is all mine, which wouldn't be so bad except that right now I have like NO food, ugh, I should go food shopping tonight, watch me blow it off again haha. I was supposed to go last night but I didn't. This week is going to pretty lazy for me, because I've got like nothing I HAVE to do! whoo! Can't you tell since I'm like writing about nothing? I've got this strange urge to write but I don't know what about. Lots of things have been on my mind lately weird things too. blech. Well I ought to go, just wanted to make sure to the world of noboby who reads this stupid thing I'm not dead. Not yet. haha Not for a long time. I think...haha! enjoy your day, I 'll be doing the same!

In The Same Place Again

hmm, I've found myself sitting in the same place I was when I started this internet voyage, makes me kinda nostolgic...aww!I really want to write more but I really ought to do at least a little studying before my next to last exam (last exam isn't until tomorrow morning). On the plus side I think my group speech went really well today, we stayed within the time limit (which like no other group did) and the teacher seemed to be impressed so lets hope the grade is just as good!

I hate Mondays

Things have been actually going well for a bit but truth be told I hate Mondays especially this Monday, it was the day where if it can go wrong...it will. Which sucked!

First I found out the girl living in the apartment still didn't sign up for a moveout day which probably means she won't be out by the 15th so I won't be able to move my stuff in, on top of that pretty much all of the storage facilites are way more than I want to pay or completley full up. Which means my parents have to get a u-haul so I can lug all of my stuff home just to bring it back later. GRRRR!!! I also found out that this set of markers I have been trying to get aren't stocked sooo no markers, and my pattern book which i was planning to buy ended up being $20 more than I expected..boo. My exam also ended up being far different than I thought it was going to be and I still don't enough packing boxes...I hate Mondays

Hooray!

My Dress is done! Well it was done yesterday but that means it's still done today, I'll post pictures as soon as I get them (I took them with my friends camera) I really liked how it came out but not deniably the process was not easy. I had 9 panels in my dress so when one was off they all were taking me back to redoing my pattern about 3 times which took up a lot of my sewing time so when it came time to put it together it was crunch time and no lie, I technically did not finish my dress, there were a few unfinished seams in my dress but it looked put together from the outside! I'm not sure if it will fit me (pity) but I hope it will because I acutally really do like it! I'm hoping to make another dress in the next couple of weeks for summer! (I probably won't start it till I get home) I also am sporting some nice bruises on my hips and arms from carrying my sewing machine to school (which turned out to be heavier and more uncomfortable than I thought. It feels good to have one giant project out of the way even though I still have more left..ugh I'm so dead though I don't want to think about it, I'm done with forced school work! (until May 26th when I start stats class haha) I do want a little break though, or maybe I just want to do things on my time, It's not the work I mind it's having to do it on someone elses time. Overall though things have been stressful they have been good! I'm excited to get Pink Elephant Clothing Co. off the ground and to stat selling stuff next year, which is my plan lets hope I can follow through. First I need to get through:

2 projects-both group projects
3 portfolio pages to be made
work
an 8 page Lit paper
A pattern exam (I have to take a design that she gives us and make the pattern for it)
A Cultural Anthro exam-means catching up on reading
and
A Packaging and Soceity CUMMULATIVE (boo!) exam
oh and packing because I need to be out of the dorms by next friday 7 P.M.

ahh, college life is wonderful (:D)

11:50

11:50 P.M.-Ran out of muslin, forced to go back to dorm, will probably work there for another half an hour or so :D Cheers!, can't wait to show you my creation once it's done.

Interesting?

It's currently 10:45 P.M. and I'm still at school working on a dress pattern, not complaining, just logging, want to make sure I remember things like this...because oddly enough, I'm actually enjoying the work. haha. Time posting later when I leave.

Thinking of You Part 2

Today I heard some birds chirping, made me think of home and my mum...and how much I miss it right now..end of story.

Thinking of You...

This morning at work, a UB (universal borrowing) book was returned that needed to be sent to Whitewater...this made me think of Danielle and thus miss her...end of story.

An Update (finally!)

Ok, I've tried to update twice so far and both time by some stupid reason I lost the post before getting the chance to post, so I'm writing the same freaking post for the third time now, so excuse me if I seem more curt than usual. Ok things have been a little hetic for the past week with some ups and downs

big things frist

for those of you who forgot (or I forgot to tell) last Thursday and Friday I went to Texas for Dallas Career Day and let me tell you everything in Texas is bigger! Check out the size of hotels there!

Ok so let me explain Dallas Career Day...The day is split into two sections, Classes and the Fashion Show. The Fashion Show is actually a competition with many categories and each desinger can make one outfit per category, my denim jacket was in the DIFFA category (sort of a different competition). The DIFFA jackets are not given back to the students they are auctioned off to raise money for AIDS. The rest of the garments are given back to the students. Also only DIFFA jackets and trends boards are on display during the day the other garments are either in the show or not (which is probably quite nerveracking for many students) ALSO only 10 DIFFA jackets (out of 40) make it to the runway...here's me and my jacket on display

I would show you some other cool jackets, but I'm too lazy so you'll have to ask to see them later (haha)..
...Back to Career Day...the first part of the day is keynote speakers and seminars from people in the industry they were pretty cool, really helpful information! I really liked our morning keynote speaker, a (very green) desinger named Rene Geneva (doesn't she have the coolest dreads!)

ok at this point you might be wondering...did your jacket make it to the runway Elly?...well I'll start with this...only 2 out of the 5 Stout students that went down got their jackets in the runway show, one was my friend Brooke...the other was
guess who...?



ME!!!!!!! How exciting and wonderful I didn't win anything but Brooke placed 1st in our category GO BROOKE

and just so you know there were over 1,000 students and staff there! WOW! I'm so happy for Brooke...although if your wondering if I was a little sad not even to place your right...

...Although I'd like to say that this displeasure was probably intensified when I got back only to recieve a letter telling me I didn't get money for any of the 4 scholarships I applied for. I know it's not personal and it shouldn't bug me but this really got to me, it really hurt. I was kinda counting on a scholarship and was hoping that for once be honest and truly myself would get me somewhere...apparently not. Ok for those of you who have told me before that I need to conform to get ahead in this world, here's you chance to point, laugh, and tell me "I told you so." It just sucks becuase it feels like I was told, hey your jacket wasn't good enough and then I come home and was told "hey your dreams and just you overall is not good enough." It especially sucks because I know that I struggle with that feeling a lot. I hate it that with almost everything in my life I've had to been told that I'm "just not good enough" I realize now that it's practically impossible for me to get a scholarship, my grade are pretty good (no 4.0 though)-but not good enough, I'm not a minority, my parents make enough for us not to be considered poor (though do these people realize my parents are just paying for my schooling?)...it just sucks because I can never get a grant or scholarship through FAFSA, I can't get one through Stout, and the chance on getting some random online one is like winning the lottery (something else I'll never win). ugh...it's just put my in such a medicore mood...blech...

Of course then I have to dive into a ton of work when I come back too. I had muslin due Monday, and a full fashion skirt due Wednesday, A speech on Wednesday, work, the fashion show tech rehearsal Monday, the student show Tuesday (and the public show Sunday), and a two page paper due Thursday...if your wondering how I had time for it all I practically didn't...Tuesday I had to work all night long on my skirt and still didn't get the lining and bottom trim done (so it was slightly unfinished)

This week I have 3 half scale original dress patterns due Monday, a full scale muslin dress due Wednesday, and a test Thursday so tomorrow will a full pattern day! I want to do a good job on this dress so I'm really really really trying to figure out the best way to do things and taking my time to figure things out BEFORE I start (I would do this all the time if I actually had the TIME to do it) gahhh....

...ok...I'm sorry if I sound like I'm complaining (ok I kinda am) but truth be told I like the work (I don't like staying up all night though) I really do like my classes even though the workload is terrifying many times. That's why this summer I'm going to try and make outfits for next years fashion show...haha I have so much I want to do this summer it's crazy! let's take a look


I'm taking a Stats class this summer
I have one job for sure, shooting for two
I need to start a crochet collection of hats,scarves and whatever else to sell next year
I need to make two dresses for each respective family wedding (one in July, one in October)
I need to make outfits for the fashion show
I want to make an outfit to possibly enter in the Dallas competition next year (were looking to get a huge group of Stout students to enter and go down there)
I want to learn how to knit
I need to master Photoshop and Illustrater
I want to read Deep Economy, and the Dexter Series
I want to re-dye my hair (again!)
I want to get another tattoo
I want to get a new pair of glasses (they would only cost $8)
I want to visit Annie
I want to have a social life too (I must see my Dani as much as possible!)
woof! I am abitious....

well I got to go, I'll update more I promise! sorry for the long wait this time!

Happy Easter!!!

Happy Easter Everyone!!!! Have a wonderful day and enjoy the company you spend it with! Peace to all!

!

Heyo!Well today is Give Yourself A Name Day-So for today I'm Clementine, because I love that name haha! Well seeing as Danielle has got a new movie to lust after I thought I would post the new movie that I am currently lusting over. Which I totally plan to see the day it comes out, WHO'S WITH ME!!!??? Who wants to go see ANGELS & DEMONS on MAY 15th!!!!!!

MMMM

There really hasn't been much to update lately. I got trained on Circulation desk this week (which is AWESOME!!!) I'm such a nerd. I've also been thinking of how to get out of school quicker, haven't devised any for certain plans but I'm stewing. I've been watching a TON of cool shows on the real life of Jesus, and of bibical stuff lately too which I must say is really neat stuff to learn about. Did you know that even though the shroud of Turin was once proved a fake there's a real chance it might not be! (take that scientific errors!) I don't know, even though I don't go to church and I have some quarms with the Bible (especially if it's taken literally) I still love the stories and the teachings and I'm oddly drawn to Jesus especially. To the stories surrounding the man, the mystery surrounding the man, the truth of the man. I don't know how exactly to explain it but there's something about Jesus that sends me reeling (not in a sexual way pervs!) He fascinates me beyond the point of words. He's so intangible and yet I keep hoping to capture him somehow. To capture his spirit, yea. Jesus made a difference, and I guess I wonder if someone gave him the Bible and showed him around now what exactly he would think of it all. Who knows?! I'd be interested to find out. I'd be interested to know where he got the strength to spend his life giving so much, and working to make a difference, it had to be tiring. It's really the human part of Jesus that I want, I want to know how human Jesus was. Not to tear him down from his light and not to prove Christians wrong, but to understand how and who he really was...IS...inside and out. To understand what he REALLY wanted of the people on earth, what can be done now. Man, I'm so intrigued! haha I better go think for a while...

Chew On This!!

some statistics from our food world...share this with others.

In everyday supermarkets, farmers get less than 10 cents of every dollar spent on food, locally farmers get 80-90 cents per dollar spent on food

Since WW II in America has lost a farm every half hour.

Most farms are contracted by larger companines who have "tricked" farmers to work with them promising independence and middle class wage, however after a $250,000 investment from the farmers savings, they are told how to build their sheds, what to feed the animals, how often to supplement with antibiotics and after all this they make an annual net income of $8,160 with no benefits and a contract that can be terminated at anytime leaving them with nothing.

Poverty rates are higher in vast stretches of the "heartland" than in the innercities.

"As population continues to grow in many nations, and the amount of farmland and water available to each person continues to shrink, a small farm structure many become central to feeding the planet"-Brian Halweil

that's it for now (i tired)
think on it though...hmm?

Simply a Failure

Today is one of those days when I simply feel like a failure at everything I do. Ever since I figured out that I won't be out of shcool until 2012 makes me feel like even though I like what I'm studying school is NEVER going to end. This means I won't even graduate till I'm 23. I can just see all of my friends graduated and married by then living full happy lives while I'll be in the same place then as I am now. Nothing is ever going to change for me. When I'm 23 I still be the same old loser who while all of her friends go out with their other friends, spends every weekend without a doubt, sitting on her couch by herself...ALL weekend, occasionaly maybe going for a walk, by herself. I feel like I'm stuck in a pit I'll never get out of. I'll never actually have a life, all of my friends will move on without me. I have to go before I start crying in a public place reminding myself of the failure my lonely self is. What a complete failure.

2012

December 2012 to be exact. And what about may you ask? My supposed graduation date...my god....schools NEVER going to end...and when I finally get out, the world is supposdly going to end...what a crappy life that will be if it actually happens. It's never going to end...It's never going to end...ahhhh

So much for school free

Well I did it, I decided to take my statistics class this summer on-line so I can get it out of the way. I really don't want to have to keep putting it off, hopefully the load really shouldn't be bad since it's only two credits. well that's about it! Today is Advisment Day here meaning...NO CLASSES (yes another work day!) Well that's sbout it.....adios!

P.S. It's clam on a half shell day...I'm not sure what this means but happy clam on half shell day anyway

Well I'll Be!

Well I'll be I guess I haven't updated in a long time. Well for those of you who don't know, though I doubt there isn't anyone who doesn't know, MY JACKET WON!!!! I'M GOING TO TEXAS!!!!! Let me tell you I'm excited! Even though I do have to pay for half the trip (suck!) But I'm excited nonetheless! It's strange how fast the second semester is flying by, I mean it still feels like forever until summer but everythings so much more fast paced this semester, some of it probably being from taking more credits, but still I think from now until summer it's going to be pretty packed with work, some of which I'm sure will be fun, others.......not so much. And I know I should have my nose to the grindstone all the time but really, I'm procrastinating, which is NOT GOOD! I can't wait until summer though! I'm going to miss not living with Annie in the summer, but I will enjoy only worrying about work and making stuff for my own enjoyment because this is going to be my last school free summer. From next summer till I graduate I'm pretty sure I'm going to stay up at school and take classes while working so I don't have such a heavy load during the year, and while I'm interning I can take on-line courses. (I'm slightly tempted to take on-line courses this summer but registration already happened) Anyways I can't really think of much right now, nothing that's important at least. I just feel like mush...lazy creamy mush.

Plant A Flower Day

Today is Plant A Flower Day! So plant a flower!!! (or at least stop to smell one!)

Whew!

well after practically four sleepless days, I DID IT!!! I finished my jacket last night at 2 a.m. I couldn't believe how long it took me! I realized how much detail work I put in and counted 7 different fabrics that comprised my jacket. I really love it! It was so much hard work, especially since I was just making most of the stuff up as I went. It was really frustrating having to stay up late to work on it but totally worth it. So here's the really hard part. All of jackets from every Pattern class are being evaluated. ONLY 5 will be chosen to go on in competition in Texas where it will be walked down a runway and auctioned off to help raise funds for a cure for aids. I really want to go becuase it's such a great opporunity and feeling like an underdog this would give me a sign that this is truly my calling, however I'm not going to hold to my breath. The construction wasn't really the best and I kinda want to keep my jacket. I don't know. I'm just going to trust what in fate for me. so here are some pics!

here's what I started with



and here's what I finished with





YaY!

Just A Reminder

I know it's still 18 days away but Earth Hour is coming fast! Be part of the revolution! On March 28th at 8:30 p.m. make the effort to power down for an hour. I know it's hard for college students because we use a lot of technology and candles aren't allowed in dorms. Here's MY suggestion. It might be frustrating but if you have to do homework, read (I KNOW you have reading to do) and do it by flashlight! Have a campout, build a fort! Go for a walk, walks are both good for your health and think if you can inspire enough people around you to power down as well how beautiful the and bright the sky is when down here it's all dark. The earth has been our home and has provided us with life for a long time, so do your part and give back by protecting and taking care of her. As I will be trying to do too, get others inspired, SPREAD THE WORD!!! anyway you can!!! Think of how amazing it would be if the entire world finally came together for a cause. Being earth-friendly is something we can ALL agree on!!! Some people are probably thinking "HIPPIE" right now but listen to me, our bodies are organic right? So why do feel the need to constantly pollute it with chemicals and preservatives? I dare you to go shopping, by the food you normally do and when you get home look at ALL the nutrition labels now DON'T JUST LOOK AT THE CALORIES!!! examine the ingrediants, how much of that is acutal food(?!!!) look at the percent values for different vitamins, proteins, carbs. In the case of our bodies and our world IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS!!!! get informed (not from food companies) about the real (and updated) facts about our body and nutrition. Calories are the enemys, FAT is not always an enemy. Take care of yourself and take care of the world!!! I know as of right now I'm a total hypocrite, and I also know how hard it is as a college student (especially in the dorms) to eat healthy and exercise and practice earth happy habits but it's NOT impossible. Do what you can now, but get informed so you can transition into a healthier life. AND REMEMBER EARTH HOUR!!!

If you click the on the words EARTH HOUR it will bring you to the website for it SIGN UP!!! (it's free! no consequence!)

puh!!

well it's 9:30 p.m. I've been working on my jacket since 11:30 am, nonstop (except to run and go piddle) I've even been eating and working (crackers are a great sewing snack. and you know what PUH! I'm not done yet, not even close. I think you'll understand when I put before and after pictures up, but really whew! this is a lot of work and ya know what ^_^ I like it! I really want it to be done, but I'm enjoying working on it (except for when I do something stupid like...sew the sleeve on the wrong armhole!) Well I should get back to working, I'm preparing to pull an all nighter (fingers crossed I won't have to)

Oh! quick update, I missed going to Milk yesterday cuz Annie went to see another movie beforehand that ended up running two hours late BUT Carissa, Matt, and her SURPRISED me! (literally it was pretty late at night and everyone was tired so she called me to come over to her room and when I got there it was really dark and everyone went "surprise" and I screamed and hid in the corner and they got some cake I cut it had a piece and that was pretty much it but it was nice nonetheless! I didn't even expect anyone to remember my birthday!) well that's REALLY it because I really have to get back to work now

byes!

I'm 20???!!!!

Holy Crap! I'm 20! I can't believe it! I shouldn't be this old. It was a really relaxing birthday and today I'm going to see Milk for free. I just can't wait to go home and see my family and have CAKE! ohhhhh cake! Well errr...I think that's it for now, Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, you made my day!

The Days Today

It's March 3rd and it's If Your Pets Had Thumbs Day AND I Want You To Be Happy Day. So think about your pets having thumbs and be happy about it!

To everyone out there by the way, I really do want all of you to be happy. I hope you are the happiest for ever and ever.

Old Stuff Day

It's Old Stuff Day...either throw it away or pull it out and treasure your old stuff!

Holy Homework

in that I have both a ton (!) of homework and some of it to do with religion.

So I apologize now...to who, I don't really know, that I might not be updating for a bit because I have to get out from under this mass plie of stuff before I can rest enough to write (not that I really have anything good to say. I wish I just had a pile of reading and little worksheets to do but here apparently it's all done in big heavy craploads of work

First for pattern she gives us at least 2 hours of homework every Monday and Wednesday that I still have to complete AND on top of that now we have a Jean Jacket Project, which I just started but is totally fun and kinda reminds me of project runway becuase we have to start with a already constructed jean jacket (or pants) and make a new outfit out of it that has to be 60% cotton when completed. It's really hard to describe what I'm doing so I'll save it for when I have pictures to show, AND not only do we have a mere 2 weeks to complete it (technically like 1 1/2) but we don't get a brake on homework, were not allowed to work on it in class and it is being judged and the winners go down to texas ( I think) to have their design auctioned off and if you win the WHOLE competition you get money. ugh. no way I'm even making it to Texas, but I'm going to do my best anyways.
ON TOP of that I have a lit test the 12th which I have no idea what on becuase our lit professor doesn't test us on materials but morals instead. I also have a Fashion Industry paper due that makes no sense, and a Packaging and Society paper to do as well. AND I have a speech that I'm giving informing people about pagan religion (gasp!) haha. I'm a little nervous because it's not my intention to offend anyone or try to convert people (even though I'm not a practicing Pagan anyways) but I have the feeling that someone will take it that way or worse no one will care at all. I think that everyone should know about as many religions as their brain can hold because the more you know the more likely you are to be more open minded and understand other people AND the more you know, the more you question, which I know in some religions may seem bad but I think it's beautiful to question your religion, the more you question, the more you find, and the more anwswers you find will invaribly bring more questions which will give you the ablity to see further than you could have imagined. too bad not everyone sees this

sorry I didn't wish anyone a Happy Fat Tuesday....sadly I didn't get any pancakes this year so I wasn't as Happy to have a Fat Tuesday as I usually am (this is my FIRST Fat Tuesday away from home :(....)

I've been talking to my mom more, ACTUAL talking! about indepth beliefs about the modern world, how I see things, why this, why that....real deep stuff, and I like talking to her, it's made me feel so much closer to her, so much so that I've been crying the last couple of days because I miss her and my home. It especially sucks that I can't even see any family or friends on my birthday...I wish I could. It's going to be so wierd this year. I'll have a cake during spring break when I'm home but that's pretty much it. yay 20 huh? For some reason I just really feel the need to be home right now, so I can't wait for spring break and home :).

Well if this posts on the 28th....Happy Public Sleeping Day (must be why I was so tired today)
and if this posts on the 1st....Happy National Pig Day AND Happy Penut Butter Lover's Day

Since One Good Turn Deserves Another

well, I wish I had something more interesting than the fact that I think I need a hair trim to update but I don't really....

Work has started out GREAT. I haven't yet really talked to any co-workers (I'm so bad at socailizing) but my boss and her boss are really cool people, very friendly, which I love. I also realized just how much I missed working at a library. Sure I don't get to talk alot but I LOVE organizing books! I love carrying books,finding places for them, I love it! I'll probably end up working at a Library after school for a while, maybe doubling being a desk person at a salon too. Those are the two jobs I think I would like to have for a bit. At work though I feel almost like I'm working too fast. Julianne (my boss) has made a couple of comments on me being fast, but I can't help it. When you've spent two years working at a library you tend to get faster at shelving and it's like riding a bike I guess, I got back into the swing of things and picked up my pace. I don't try to be fast, I just am. whoop! Hopefully soon(but not too soon) I'll get trained on Desk so I can check out books too! I love the desk (even though I never worked one before)

I also recently watch a documentary called Gonzo on the life and times of Hunter S. Thompson. If you don't know who he is, he was a fabulous writer and a guy with a ton of guts. There are good and bad points of his life but on the whole I guess in some ways I really want to emulate his life. He lived for fun, and I want to too. I'm no writer but hopfully I'll eventually have my little shop of clothes (yay). The biggest difference between us is I think Hunter actually wanted (and possibly tried) to change people, to make a difference whereas I know there's nothing I can say or do that's going to change anything or anybody. I'm just going to live my life in the way that makes me happy, although more and more I'm seeing that what makes me happy seems to dissapoint my friends and family. I don't blame them. Most of my friends live "by the book" or "inside the box" and even if they don't they know how to play the game of life. How to live in society without constantly pushing barriers. I think I'm just too compulsive to live that way. I know a lot of my friends talk about tattoos and piercings and may someday get one but are.....more responsible?...smarter? than me. If my gut tells me to do something I know that eventually I'll do it, sooner or later (probably sooner because my gut can get so annoying) The only problem is that it's getting to the point were I'll have to decide, live so that others are happy but I am not happy with myself or live so that I am comfortable in my own skin but constantly dissapointing those close to me. I don't want to decide, I don't want to be here but I realize that I am. Most people now would tell me to take the first path because I DO live in society and the only real way to get by is to play by their rules, and how can I be so cruel to those that show me kindness? But I've done that before. For me, if I can't be happy with myself...what's the point of living? I know I'm the worst kind of selfish, just the worst. Either way there is never going to be true full happiness, either way there will always be a sorrow on my shoulders, a burden that is there but not there. I feel like I HAVE to do things my way but dealing with the guilt afterwards is bone crushing. However I'm beginning to see things about myself and my life that I can just no longer ignore. I feel a pull in a certain direction but it is the worst direction, and I will become the worst of all people, the most selfish.