Reminder, it's OK to give yourself a break every once in while

School is busy. Job 1 is busy. Job 2 will get busier. I'm not the only dealing with situations like this, where stress mounts on stress and it wears you thin. Yesterday I had a crappy day. Not being able to find my phone, mounted with a ton of schoolwork I had to do, stress over some personal relationships, and (what happened to be the cake topper that day) realizing I had purchased about $65 dollars of unusable yarn pushed me over the edge yet again. After several unsuccessful attempts to wind my yarn I lost it and broke down in the (thankfully empty) knits lab. I just wanted to go home but I had class, work, and homework still to content too that night. Also worried about my phone (which doubles as my alarm clock) I didn't think I was going to get any sleep. I stopped by my teacher's office (face still red) to say that if I was edgy tomorrow it was because today just seemed so awful. She gently reminded me that I NEED sleep and not to worry so much about class, "you're having a crappy day" she said "go home, make some hot cocoa and get some sleep." I left her office not wanting to listen to the words she said I felt I had SO MUCH to do!

I made it home close to 10:00pm after work, I was making dinner when I felt I kept hearing phantom phones vibrating...reminding me of my sad lost one. I (kinda of randomly) decided to check my purse yet again (I had checked several times before) as I was still convinced I had my phone when I got home Sunday. Turns out my phone had gone into a back pocket that had a hole in it and straight into the lining the phone fell. Even though I had searched in my bag, the gap between the lining and the shell of the bag is rather large so I had been searching in the right place just not feeling the gap fully until now. I felt so relieved!!!!! I decided to eat dinner and get back to work, even though I was pretty exhuasted from the day. As I sat down for dinner (and some Twin Peaks yeah!!!) my adorable kitty jumped up and curled up in my lap (which she hadn't done in a while). That's when a quote from Twin Peaks jumped into my mind

"every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it; don't wait for it; just let it happen. It could be a new shirt in a men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black, coffee"

That's when I decided to take my teachers (and Special Agent Dale Cooper's) advice and give myself the present of a night off. 

Like I said previously, I'm not a religious girl but I do have faith. Faith in good people, faith in myself, faith in something beyond myself, call it God/Fate/whatever you please. 

I started to think that maybe sometimes we have crappy days to remind ourselves it's OK to take a break. I don't always believe "when God closes a door, he opens a window" but I do think crappy days can solve problems we wouldn't have even known existed if things had gone perfectly. If my yarn had wound wonderfully that day I would have decided to keep working the cheap acrylic I was only sort of happy with but because it caused a meltdown I decided to look for other yarn and found some online that was much higher quality for a cheaper price (and the color selection was OUTSTANDING). 

Taking the night off and giving my mind some rest has rejuvenated myself for the oncoming week. It allowed ideas to "cook" in my brain a little more and for the first time in a while I fell asleep smiling. Usually no matter what, during a crappy day it will always just seem crappy but yesterday gave me a new insight that when you can, appreciate the crappy the days. They often can be eye opening if not at least refreshing when you learn to accept them.

So for all of you out there like me, who find it hard to give themselves a break sometimes. It's OK, in fact it's better than if you try and push yourself beyond your limits. When you find yourself starting to beat yourself up for all the things going on, walk away from what you're working on, grab a hot cocoa and BREATHE. In a world as crazy and frustrating as this one mental health days are a must. It's OK to have a night off to yourself. If you often find yourself forgetting the cut yourself a break like me, remember that nobody's perfect and think honestly "what's the worst that can happen?" As my friend Paul would tell you "As long as you are alive, your winning, beyond that it doesn't really matter."

Thanks Paul,  yet again!

So it was a crappy day but a good night. Here's hoping the rest of the week will run smoothly.